FlashFirer's Random Battles Only Random Thread

[FlashFirer]

A thread for the battlers!
Random battles with random strangers are the thing here!
Each post, by now-official (but invencted) rules you must have an action, nominated by the * and * thing.
EXAMPLE: *kicks random ass*
So you choose who'll you are going to battle with, so that we can make multiple battles at the same time, and we can even make GROUP BATTLES! That's right, it only depends on you.
¨Do you have *COURAGE*?

[pikatsu]

*shoots flash in the groin*

:lol:

[FlashFirer]

*revives as Zombie*
Yeah now let's play Resident Evil Goes Threaded on battles:evilgrin:

[Locke Cole]

*drops a hammer on both of your heads*

Boy, people come up with crazy threads. :crazy:

[Grim]

*puts on his hat of lichie twinkage, destroys world, creates a better planet and disappears for a while after kicking FlashFirer in the shins*

[DarkSoul]

*Grabs his large Anti-tank gun and fires random shots at pikatsu and grim*
Woo, This gun has some recoil!

[TrueSephiroth]

*Smack!*

You get to decide who it was taht got hit!

(PS I didn't hit myself, so haha it won't come back on me)

[Giea]

*Sticks Grim's Scythe in My Mouth* hey... this is a REALLY Random Question.. but where is Yuffie?!

[silverDistortioN]

...england! ^.^

[Giea]

Yay!! Silver is getting stupider and stupider!! Bah, I wish I was in England :wall:

[Zedie9]

*Sticks Grim's Scythe in My Mouth*
:amazed: Uh... why would you stick a scythe in your mouth? :wonder:

[Kilu]

To use as a toothpick, obviously.

[Grim]

*rips Giea apart with a Q-Tip*

my poor scythe....:cry:

[Giea]

*turns on Avril Lavigne's music* harhar!! I win!!

[pikatsu]

*Kicks random person, does damage to his own foot.* :bawl:

[silverDistortioN]

Yay!! Silver is getting stupider and stupider!! care for a game of chess, little boy? ^.~

[Giea]

care for a game of chess, little boy? ^.~I sooo beat you last time.. err Old Man!! ^_-

[TrueSephiroth]

*Takes out a metal baseball bat*

CRACK!

*Flash lies on the ground in a pool of drool and a little blood*

Aww Man you bent my bat!

[Yuffie]

You might find this more useful for him! :D
*hands Seph a spud gun*
The trick is to use a whole potato at once. ;)
(He's particularly weak at the right kneecap!)

[Giea]

Whats the difference between Yuffie and Yuna, Yuffie?? I thought they looked the same lol, I remeber Yuna was like a white mage and Yuffie was like a theif right?

[TrueSephiroth]

Man you don't know the difference between Yuffie and Yuna? Yuna's a summoner from spira and Yuffie is a thief out for materia.

Having fun in the new forums Yuffie?

*Uses spud gun on Flash*
I don't know what the sound a spud hitting flesh at a high speed is.

[Giea]

LoL I guess I'm not the biggest FF Fan.. hehe but I was half right (score!) =P... oh yah *detonates a love bomb*

[Zedie9]

:amazed: You know what that means, right?! Everyone within the detonation range will... fall in love! That means at least TrueSephiroth, Giea, and Yuffie will fall madly in love with one another... Thank goodness I wasn't around. :emlaugh:

[Yuffie]

Well it's sort of like "THUDsploRK!" :amazed:
Hey....Seph that's a really nice haircut you have!! :D
Yuna's a wuss, Yuffie's a maniac, does that answer your question sweet cheeks? :p

I'm having a great time, Seph! Everyone's wallets are so much more accessible! :D

[TrueSephiroth]

I'm pretty sure My Ribbon protects me from all status ailments.
Including that one.

So its just Yuffie and Giea.

Have fun.

*casts shield*

I really don't feel like being taken surprise today.

[silverDistortioN]

awww! you're so cute with that ribbon on! can i pet you? ^.^

[Giea]

grrrowwwl Yuffie... *picks her pocket* why what a large wallet you have.. and look and the size of your canines... HEY!! Thats Silver... mmmm Silver

[Zedie9]

[ :finger: Now, now, c'mon. TrueSephiroth does wear that ribbon - it's commonly known, but Yuffie and Giea should be acting like they are in love now - at least for a few posts. :p ]

[Grim]

:fftblackwiz: :fftblackwiz: :fftblackwiz: FIREBALL!!! :ff1blackmage: :ff1blackmage: :ff1blackmage:

[Yuffie]

Reminds me of one of my roles in pantomime, I was meant to be a spanish temptress but my bf thought I was meant to be a vampire. :rofl:
I had to sing a solo out to the audience but there was a light in my eye so I scrunched my eyes up a bit and it reflected off my teeth. :rofl:

And...uh...it's a love hate relationship. ;)
*prods Giea*

[Giea]

And...uh...it's a love hate relationship.
*prods Giea*


Meow!! Love Hate Relationship is fine with me!! =) And like I told you last night... Lucozade is 1.99€ In Circle K Not 2.99€!

[DarkSoul]

*Defuses the love bomb with a Counter Strike Style anti-bomb kit*
Oke, now that's out of the way.

*Arm's and safeguards his Nutron bomb*
From ash's to ash's, dust to dust!

*Quicly jumps into a Mechwarrior Dropship laughing.*

[TrueSephiroth]

Well this is fun. Hmm...?

What should we do?

Gather round I'll cast shield on all off us before it goes off that way we can shield the blast and stay alive. We can keep the blast from destroying the rest of the area.

One two more people complie It'll be considered done.

[Zedie9]

* moves within Sephiroth's shield radius *


:emlaugh: Whew! Thanks, Seph - I thought I was toast that time for sure! :bouncy:

[Giea]

*Steps in the radius and gives every1 hugs* now everyone is infected with the LOVE SPELL!

[Grim]

*Teleports the Nutron bomb onto the dropship with DarkSoul*

:evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin: :evillaugh: :evilgrin:

[Thwyter]

*shoot everyone in the room with tomatoes*

[Yuffie]

*goes around hugging everyone*

Love spell? Sorry did I miss something? :p

*continues to prance about singing love songs*

[Giea]

*does whatever Yuffie does* =P

[Yuffie]

Are you just too lazy to type it all out again? :p

[Giea]

*nods* Hey! Yuffie you were dead in another thread.. so why not this one.. hey take an overdose of this crystal meth.. haha! yes!! burnnnn

[DarkSoul]

*Ejects out of the Dropship threw an escape pod and lands on Grim*
*gets out of Escape Pod*
Woooooooooo! Whats that Smell???!?!?! Ohhh, look, I landed on a Grim.

*Grabs his flamethrower* Time to make things toasty!

[Yuffie]

Why does everyone keep trying to kill me?! :realmad:

*steals darksoul's flamethrower and beats Giea to death with it*

[FlashFirer]

*watchs*
Dude, this is better than pay-per-view.

[Zedie9]

*watchs*
Dude, this is better than pay-per-view.
:wonder: Well... it will be after Yuffie starts mudwrestling Silver. :evilgrin:

[FlashFirer]

Yeah good idea let's wrestle =D
*Wrestles Zedie*
Straight, block, block, right hook, right block, left hook, HOLD AND THROW SUPAHR LIMIT BREAK!!!!!, wins :)

[Giea]

Why does everyone keep trying to kill me?! :realmad:

*steals darksoul's flamethrower and beats Giea to death with it*You bitch! *Tears out Yuffie's earings from her ears* What now!?! *Slaps Yuffie around*

[FlashFirer]

*ç*

Pay-Per-View sucks... Giea is calling Yuffie names! ^^ Ha!!!
Bitch...whoah...this name is bad. Shame on you.
*kicks Giea*
Sorry, I'm drunk =)

[Giea]

*ç*

Pay-Per-View sucks... Giea is calling Yuffie names! ^^ Ha!!!
Bitch...whoah...this name is bad. Shame on you.
*kicks Giea*
Sorry, I'm drunk =)10 Year old kid drunk!?!? *slap* bad boooy!

[FlashFirer]

Well, I go to taverns, cafes, temples...
I'm a bad boy :( I should stop.

[Yuffie]

But I don't wear earrings... :p

Well not often, I had them ripped out once before you see. :rofl:

I was wrestling with my bf yesterday...who happens to be a black belt in judo ¬¬

The winner had to get the other a drink all the way from the kitchen. :(
So I gave him all of 3 drops of orange juice and stole his totally cool reclining chair. :w00t:

*throws a mud pie at Silver*

Giea!! You slut!!! :furious:

[silverDistortioN]

...why are you so mean to me? ó.ò

[Zedie9]

:D Are you so sure she was being mean to you? Perhaps Yuffie's Mud Pie™ is the opposite of Yuffie's Cherry Pie™. :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

I don't get it but *throws a rock cake at Zedie* :D

[Thwyter]

*tosses a pineapple at yuffie* and i don't mean the ones you eat either

[Giea]

*takes away Yuffies lucozade* I won? =)

[Zedie9]

I don't get it
:knockedout: Bah! I made a typo that changed the whole meaning. It's corrected now, if you want to give it *cough* I mean, get it. :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

Your Zediesque comments are bordering on smutty now! :p

[Kilu]

Your Zediesque comments are bordering on smutty now! :p

I thought that was always the case :bouncy:

[Grim]

My heavenly powers compel-diddily-el you!
*Zaps Giea with Holy*

[Giea]

Zapping me with Holy only makes me stronger. because I am holy!! *angels sing*

[Lord Draud]

steps on Giea with him Atlas IIc battlemech one hundread tons of power!also fires a gause rifle at Grim

[Grim]

*DFA's Draud with a drop ship*

[Giea]

*dodges the atlas's* angels song!! *chants psalms* Lord Draud lies down... dead

[Grim]

he already was dead.... :evillaugh:

[Lord Draud]

*jumpjets out of the way of the dropship* turns and starts firing at it FOOLISH MORTAL DIE!

[Giea]

Mortal? Who's the Mortal? I'm a fairy! *turns into fairy mode* *Takes the dropship and throws it down, and bombs Canada*! Wohoo!

[FlashFirer]

*Dies*
...
Ooops O.o

[Grim]

:flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca: :flagca:

:cop: You broke the law! No littering in Canada! :furious:
(sorry watched Canadian Bacon too much)

[Giea]

*jabs Grim in the back with a living stick* booya! your living now.. and now I littered agian!

[FlashFirer]

*kills everyone and disappear for another two months*
MWAHAHAHAHAHA

[Astrolounge]

Astrolounge casts CRUSH!
*a huge fist appears and crunches Giea.*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

:flagca:

[Giea]

*Waves to Astrolounge from the other side of the room* That was my decoy *giggle* *throws billions of daggers as Astrolounge* Haha! I won =)

[Astrolounge]

*Several daggers sail through Astrolounge' s form, causing it to waver slightly.*
*Giea feels a tap on the shoulder*
Looking for someone?

[Giea]

Oh! Hiya it's you, what's.. up? *calls for backup* *Angels sing* *Astrolounge fainted from the sound*. I must get away!

[Astrolounge]

Damn! They knew my one weakness. High pitched church singing...
*Starts kicking ass left and right*

[Giea]

*Throws pencils at Silver* I wonder what he tastes like, fried ^.^.

[Astrolounge]

Ham.
Ham and Chessboards.

*Does the Batojutsu to Silver*

PS: Hmm, Do games really desensitize you to violence?
*Pulls out Silvers rib and picks teeth*

[Astrolounge]

*Hits Giea's fairy face in with a bat*
Primal screaming.

[Astrolounge]

*Starts hurling fireballs at Draud.*
Hooray! I made a hat trick!
(Why is no one posting here?)

[Nall]

*casts Ultima 4 and Meteo 4 and destroys the world* *FF4 Victory theme* I WIN! ^.^

[Kilu]

This is the most idiotic thread ever, that's why I am not posting :ponder:

[Astrolounge]

Well now thats just bitter...

[OutcastedNomad]

*starts chanting *
Blade who I have lived, Blade who I now died
cast one last form search on last heart of evil
* OutcastedNomad raises hand and points pointer Finger at all*
SPIRIT GUN !!!!!!!
*Blast incinerates all in the area in front of finger except silver*
take that slackers.

[Astrolounge]

*Does not effect*
HA, you are powerless against my mighty defensive aura.
*Runs up and cuts OutcastedNomad across the face*
(I like Ruroni Kenshin better than Yu Yu Hakusho anyway)

[FlashFirer]

He's been intoxicated with food all day on the tavern...I'll try Gravity!
Whoah, it worked pretty well...uh...is he dead? @_@

[Giea]

This was a semi fun thread why did it go bye bye? =(

[Blade Tanaka]

This is the most idiotic thread ever, that's why I am not posting :ponder:
I agree but it looks somewhat fun... *Cast hails of spell eveywhere* BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! ^o^

[Geosgaeno]

argggg that attack got me Blade, it has made me stop being able to fight here after THIS post.

[Galthol]

argggg that attack got me Blade, it has made me stop being able to fight here after THIS post.

"Excellent."
*Runs up and starts poking Geo in the ribs*
"heh heh heh."

[Lance Alvein]

*Out of nowhere Lance jumps up and slashes Galthol across the ribs*
Lets see you donkey your way out of this one... http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif
Get him Blade http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/biglaugh.gif

[Yuffie]

*trips Lance over*

Hehehehehehe....

*runs away*

[Lance Alvein]

Ow. My face hurts.

*Lance gets up and chases Yuffie around Galthol*

[Yuffie]

AAARRRGH!!!

I was hoping for a trip and run with no consequences!!! :bawl:

*hides in a box*

I'll never be found in this inconspicuous box!

[Lord Draud]

*walks in, whips out a Ak-74 and starts spaying down the people in a hail of hot lead all the while laught like a Smegging mad man*

[Yuffie]

Lucky I hid in this completely bullet proof box. :emlaugh:

Although now I know what it's like to hide behind a gong... O_O

[Giea]

Lucky I hid in this completely bullet proof box. :emlaugh:

Although now I know what it's like to hide behind a gong... O_O
Haha, you want to know what's funny Yuffie? Well I took your bullet proof box away an hour ago! Haha isn't that so funny? :)

[Lord Draud]

....*looks at yuffie in her cardboard box like solid snake* " you know thatdoes not work i can see you moving" * pulls out a flamethrower and torchs the box*

[Geosgaeno]

*takes Drauds flamethrower and puts out Yuffies box which fails to ash on the floor, Yuffie and Draud stand together and Geo sets thier hair on fire*

"heheheheheh"

[Yuffie]

Ok OW well this OW is quite OWWW good really, OW rather be hot th-OW-an cold! OWWOWWOWW HOT HOT HOT PUT ME OOOOUUUTTT!!!!!!

*shoves Draud out the way and plunges her head into a bucket of water*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance gets up off the floor after healing his gunshot wounds*
Ow... Draud, you should leave us evil people alone... if we end up killing each other, how can we spread the evil word :p

[Geosgaeno]

ahh nonsense, evil can get evil if they want its totally random, hehe

*pokes Lance*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance knocks Geo to the ground, then proceeds to Dance on his body until his head is a bloody pulp*
I are evil :p

[jetblue]

*jetblue enters with a box of pastries*
"Hi everyone! Brought you all some treats",walks around.
"Why is everyone so quiet and just starring at me? Huh?"......

[Yuffie]

*drags herself across the floor*

Must...*choke* have...pastries...!!!

Ooh that reminds me, I have some pain au chocolat in the kitchen!

*jumps up and skips off to the kitchen*

[Geosgaeno]

*trips Yuffie as she skips off and then throws pastries at her whilst she lies crippled on the floor*

"hehehehe" *sniggers some more*

[Yuffie]

How could you be so cruel you vile fiend and-.....meh, effort.

*eats pastries*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance sneaks up on Jetblue slowly, then stabs him several times with his axe*
AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! I AM BERSERK !!!

[Yuffie]

YOU STOOD ON MY PASTRIES!!!!! AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!

*attacks Lance with her lucochucks*

[Blade Tanaka]

*Blade walks in and punches Lance in the face* Where did Flah go anyways? I haven't seen him since school

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance goes even deeper into a berserker trance*
AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! !!!!!!!
KILL!!! DESTROY!!! MAIM!!!
*Lance pummels both Blade and Yuffie into uncounsiousness, then snaps out of the trance*
Why is everyone on the ground bleeding???
And why are my hands all bloody???

[Yuffie]

Hey check out what I made! :D

http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/2223/lucozade3qo.th.jpg (http://img134.imageshack.us/my.php?image=lucozade3qo.jpg)

Ooh...headache...argh....
*collapses*

ooh...stars...

[Lance Alvein]

Stars??? Where???
*Lance starts running around in circles looking for stars*

[Locke]

*Locke jumps into the fray*

With my mad training skills, I will make use of this scaled wurm to make short work of yea, mad bersek fiend who hast slain the fair yuffie and honorable Blade.
Die fiend


*calls out a 300 foot scaled wurm to begin the assault on the mad berserk Lance*

[Galthol]

*While the Wurm is surgering towards Lance Galthol slips in from out of no where and stabs Lance in the back Then jumps on the back of the wurm and starts riding around like it's a horse*

[Locke]

*Raises fingers to lips and unleashes an earsplitting whistle*


Roll over my great wurm, roll over :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

*with her last sort of dying breath opens the lucochucks and drinks the lucozade*

Fear my wrath for I am she who shall not be defied! She who has drunk unholy amounts of liquid sugar, the likes of which mere mortals cannot fathom! She who will crush- ooh hey look! Stars!!

*prances*

[Lance Alvein]

Tarrrrrrrrrrrzzzzaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Yuffie]

Ok, loincloth beats stars. :D

Where?!

[Locke]

Tarzan, where does Tarzan enter into a fight between Lance getting stabbed in the back by Galthol or attacked by a giant wurm? :confused:



Oh no, maybe mass confusion was the entire purpose. O_O

[Yuffie]

...who cares? :D

Wooh! Loincloth! Go Tarzan! :D

[Locke]

:thumbdown: I think we all know what the purpose for Lance's seemingly random scream of Tarzan was....

To distract Yuffie :amazed:

Sends wurm to tunnel through the ground and come up underneath Lance and eat him :D

[Yuffie]

*runs in*

Locke! Did you see where Tarzan went?! :amazed:

Come out come out wherever you are! :D

*runs off*

[Geosgaeno]

*Geo hides secretly in a tree throwing javelins at passers by*

[Yuffie]

...I just noticed a terrifying resemblance between Tarzan and Geo's avatar...

:amazed:

Get it to put on a bigger loincloth!!! :bawl:
(anyone who makes a rude joke out of that is going to get a slap)

[kai]

*swoops down pushing lance out of the way, as the wurm bites down phases out of material existence*

DAMN WURMS :realmad:

*phases back into site, staying high above ground level*

[Locke]

Go forth my Wurm, cause carnage and mayhem (or just eat Lance, that works too):D

Yuffie - ;)

*Picks up a thrown Javelin and throws it back at Geo throwing Javelins out of his tree*

[Yuffie]

Careful! You might knock him out of the tree then we'll be able to see him! :shame:

...

*slaps Locke* :p

[Locke]

Milady, why hast thou slapped mine face?

And for that matter, why is there a wurm rampaging around without a trainer to keep it under control O_O

To arms, to arms :fftknight:.

*Readies weapons for battle with the huge wurm that had been under his control mere moments before*

[Yuffie]

Locke: Because I can read your mind :spin:

...and just because. :D

*slaps him again*

You see how fun this is?!?! :D

EEEEEEWWWW!!!! A WURM!!! GROSSSSSS!!!!

*gets some salted peanuts and throws them at the worm*

Shrivel thou evil slimy thingy!!

[Locke]

*Shakes head vigorously*


Madam, why dost thou insist on this unneccesary violence. There be a 300 foot montstrosity rampaging towards thou, thy honor is at stake. To arms all, to arms.

*Raises sword, pauses, looks around*

Where is my brother in arms Blade?

*Starts scampering around looking for Blade*

[Blade Tanaka]

My brother I hearsest though call.

*Blade lookeths around*

What seems to be the Problem My brother?

And M'lady Yuffie for informations sake a Wurm is now what we call a dragon.

[Locke]

Attack!!!!!

*Raises sword, runs at the beast, then jumps on top of it's head and stabs downward, only to be get shaken off by the creature*

Slay the foul dragon from the deepest bowels of hell!

[Blade Tanaka]

If it is hell's dragon then I shall assist with my minor white magic spells. They may not be powerfull, but they may be best.

*Blade cast's Areo level 3 they make only small scrapes no bigger than Locke's stab*

Hmm to no avail is my effort. Perhaps it would be best to leave magic to those with more expeirance. As for my sword, it shall do my talking for me.

*Blade rushes forth with all his might head on for the Wurm. It reacst with a blood curdling roar taht freezes him in his tracks, and goes for a fatal blow. Running out of breath the wurm's cry stopes and Blade comes back to his senses in time to hardly avoid the fatal blow ripping his arm almost off*

Dammit, perhaps I was not ready

*Blade cast's cura and a sicly blue glow comes from his arm giving it shape and flesh again*

Please Locke My Brother hold him off as best you can as the healing process finishes.

[Locke]

I shall do my best brother Blade

*Runs up and begins to taunt the creature, running in circles around it to confuse it*

Come on you pansy, I'll kill you for that

*Scampers about in broad circles, taunting the great wurm and attempting to lead it in the other direction from Blade*

Where's a crazed berserker when you need him. LANCE, get over here and do your job, you're the one who's supposed to go crazy and kill things

[Yuffie]

And M'lady Yuffie for informations sake a Wurm is now what we call a dragon.
My mistake, I only saw the tail. :D

....luckily since I found that random machete it no longer has one....

So...why's Locke dancing with it and not killing it?! :amazed:

....sooner he kills it the sooner I can get it's treasure stash. :)

[Locke]

So...why's Locke dancing with it and not killing it?! :amazed:(To answer your question, I post the following request from Blade)
Blade Tanaka - Please Locke My Brother hold him off as best you can as the healing process finishes.

*Dodges underneath the assault of the wurm, then grabs ahold of one of the horns on it's head and hangs on for dear life.*

No, if I can just figure out a way to stab this and stab it good, maybe it'll die. Somebody want to finish Blade's healing process?

[Blade Tanaka]

Yuffie I'm fine now. We need you to take over healing duty.

Locke I'll go for his flank while you continue to distract him.

*Blade runs for the dragons behind and wait's for Locke's signal*

[Locke]

*Jumps off the wurms head while simultaniously stabbing it in it's right eye in the process*

How's that for a signal :D Go Blade Go

*Lands lightly on feet (or as lightly as landing from a decent height in full body armor can be) and readies to attack again*

[Blade Tanaka]

*Blade runs full speed at the wurms back ladding on it's neck, he wields his sword and with great persision starts slighting at the wurm's neck causing it to throw him off into a nearby tree8

Ummf... oww that hurt, Locke go for his ither eye and I'll gof for his chest.

[Locke]

I dunno if the eye is such a prime target right now, there's this thing where the wurm is probly pretty mad right now and is not gonna let me near it's head anymore. :(

No matter. Charge!!!!!!


*Runs at wurm, make a flying leap at the wurms remaining eye, but gets batted away into a tree*

Owwwwwwwww, I'm stuck in a tree.

[Blade Tanaka]

*Blade stops in mid track for Wurm's chest to rescue Locke*

Too bad nobody is here to help us... We need some back up, the target may be to great for the both of us...

(*Blade wedges Locke free from the tree*

[Locke]

Owwwww. I hurt all over.

*Locke manages to drag himself upright while leaning on his sword*

I concur with your statement brother blade, we definently could use some assistance in this grand battle.

*Looks around weakly for backup*

[Blade Tanaka]

*Blade cast Cure on Locke's acheing body*

That sure mend your bruses. Should we retreat for now and find back up brother? OR should we do a little damage first, make sure it's weak for next encounter?

[Locke]

*Falls over out of agony*

Cure doesn't do too much when your in this rough of shape, I think I need something stronger from one of our white mages.

*Stumbles upright to while grasping sword*

Some other's jump in anytime please.

[kai]

Well I'm no white mage but at the moment I posses some wonderful pain relieving songs . . . . . . there are some side effects . . . such as you may not be able to eat tomorrow and well you'll love music for a few hours . . . . all well

*starts to sing a song of ecstasy*

[Locke]

*begins to dance*

Hey no, I can't stop dancing and there's a crazed wurm on the loose here :dance: NOOOOOOOOOO

*Stabs self in foot to prevent this from happening still*

Enough dancing. How bout a rousing battle song Kai?

[kai]

:evilgrin: oh have I got the song for you . . .
This shall cause you to go into a fit of rage increasing your power beyond one physical parameters but . . . it will also harden your skin into a scaley stone providing you with an almost invincible shell while you destroy your foe.

*sings a song of anger, hatred and defensive dis-trust*

[Yuffie]

*continues to battle the Wurm while everyone else dances*

Psh...if you want something done...

[Lance Alvein]

*After hearing Kai's battle song, Lance finally snaps out of his trance, and goes berserk again*
AARRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*Lance jumps onto the wurm's back and starts stabbing him with his axe*

[Locke]

Hey, this I like. I'm invincible :D

*Runs at wurm swinging, dealing a horrendous slashing attack that flakes off three scales*

Hmmmm, if I can only do that, maybe I should haul out an actual sword as opposed to this wooden one :wonder:

*Throws away wooden sword and pulls out a nice shiny adamantium blade*

CCCHHHAAARRRRGGGEEE!!!!

*Begins to enter battle with the wurm once more*

[kai]

*continues singing, adding two new versus to give nearby allies some sanity while in their bezerked state*

[Lance Alvein]

*Kai's new verses have no effect on Lance*
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
*Lance embeds his axe in the wurm and then bites a chunk out of it*
BLAH! Not good food!

[Locke]

Lance, your crazy. Simmer down, a 300 foot wurm probly is tough as nails to try and eat. At least kill it and cook it first.

*Takes a couple practice swings with the new adamantium sword, then gets a stupid grin on face at how nice it handles*

Lance, keep it busy for a bit, I'm gonna warm up myself with the new blade.

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance grabs a new axe, and starts stabbing the wurm in the same place where he bit it*
Stabby stabby stabby

[kai]

*stops singing*

Perhaps raw power can kill this . . . . . . BAh what am I thinking, all you need is speed to go with power

*sings a song of ancient times of heros with godly strength and unmatched speed*

[Yuffie]

*gathers up all the scales that fly off and makes some dragon armour for the fighters....and a modern art sculpture with the leftovers*

One size fits all. :D

Unfortunately, I only had enough to make one suit of XXXXSmall.

[Locke]

Nooooo, the suit of armour is too small for me...... But not for Mini-Locke :D

*Calls mini-locke over and get's him to put on the armour*

Hey Yuffie, I found somebody that you're armour there is gonna fit

*Draws blade again, then jump's at the wurm and starts hacking away at it*

Blargg, random violence against the beast :evilgrin:

Hey, where is Blade anyways. Last I heard he was in the process of attacking with us, then he disappeared.

[Lance Alvein]

AARRGHH!! KILL!!!
*Lance hacks away at the wurm some more, only this time at amazing speeds*
I'm sure he'll be back sometime later...
KILL!!!

[kai]

*stops singing*

You know it's rather boring being a bard . . . . . . I know I sing you a song of regeneration so that when (and you will) you get injured you'll just heal almost instantly. there is nothing like watching people being hacked and mangled and then seeing them magically heal themselves

*sings a relaxing healing tune*

[Locke]

*Suddenly hacks at Lance's left big toe*

Aha, something to change the pace up a bit, I take your largest toe as payment for being your older sibling :evilgrin:

*Scampers away with the offending toe, throwing it into the wurms eye*

Death to the wurm! :evilgrin:

*Looks around once more for Blade, looks dejected, then charges into the fray once more*

[kai]

*hacks off lances toe once again while still singing the song of regeneration*
*hacks off the toe again*
*hacks off the toe again*
*hacks off the toe again*
*hacks off the toe again*
:evilgrin:

[Lance Alvein]

Ugh... Ugh... Ugh...
*Translation: Good thing I'm in a berserker rage, or this could make me very angry :p*

[Locke]

*Laugh maniacally*

It would indeed suck if you weren't in a berserk rage.

*Jumps up at the wurms head, grabbing the horns there to keep grip*

Hey, I can ride out the battle right here :D

[kai]

*stops hacking off lances toe waits for it to grow back and stops singing*

Well that was fun for a bit . . . . what next . . ? I KNOW!!!

*sings the song of mother earth*
*the ground rumbles as it hardens into unbreakable rock, preventing the wurm from tunneling*

(ok so it may be more of a chant but it's still has a good melody)

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance jumps nimbly down from the wurm's back, and then convinces it to leave everyone alone*
Now we don't have a wurm problem anymore :p

[kai]

*stops singing*

Hey now, I'm going to be a berserker soon and I'll need something to attack randomly. You may be a trainer but only a new one, once I lure it back and send it into a berserked state you will have no power over it.

*sings a song of the wild, luring the worm back towards the group*
*goes from wild song into a loud pounding yell, sending the wurm into a firey rage*

[Lance Alvein]

I'll let you attack it... and it won't hit you too badlyhttp://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

[kai]

*kai stops singing*

Why would I attack it? I'm a bard. . . . :confused:
I simply entertain and sometimes people get various benefits from my music.

[Blade Tanaka]

Hey where is the wurm?

[Locke]

Being ridden by Lance right now

Lets giver Blade, I think it's time to finish this

*Readies sword*

Let's get this thing once and for all

[kai]

*begins to sing a song of the hardships of the crippled, sending a wave of blindness, defness, numbness, and the illusion of a foul odder to all un-friendly lifeforms around*

[Blade Tanaka]

*Blade takes a leap at the wurm being ridden By Lance and takes a huge leap for it's face*

Damn Wurm feel my wrath

*Blade's leap put's him head on with the wurm which reacts too late as He sinks his blade into it's right eye, The Wurm gives a horrifyiong screech as Blade pulls hi ssword through it's face and across it's other eye*

Quickly Locke Finishe it while it's still screaming!

[Locke]

*Leaps into the air*

Die foul beast

*Lands nimbly on the beasts head, begining the downward strike, then stumbles as the wurm reacts to Blades attack and instead of hitting the wurm stabs through Lance into the back of the wurms head*

Oops :emlaugh:

I think we're going to need some healing here.

[kai]

*once again kai sings the song of regeneration until all are healed*

You know a white mage is generally better at this, I'm suppose to be a support character. Hopefully you make a good white mage locke.

[Blade Tanaka]

No time for that, if this final strike works then his life may have been worth it... never mind he's a useliss pile of crap... I mean... Poor Lance.

*Blade Leaps once again at the wurm, this time aming for it's head, and with one finnal thwack it is finnised*

I got dibs on the head for a trophy!!!!

[Lance Alvein]

**Just so you guys know, I jumped off its back way earlier...**
*Lance laughs as Locke stabs the fake Lance, igniting the explosives embedded inside it*
I think they need the healing... http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

[Locke]

*Lance jumps nimbly down from the wurm's back, and then convinces it to leave everyone alone*
Well crap, I guess I shoulda seen that one coming. Regardless, our wurm issue is finished. Poor slithers :cry: :bawl: :cry:

*Wipes sword off on Lance for the dirty trick of the fake one with explosives*

Ah, my trusty blade. Too bad I'll need to hang it up for a while soon :bawl:

[kai]

*begins chant to further enrage the future berzerker class about to be given to kai*

[Locke]

You're only 4 post's away Kai. (I think :wonder:)

*Strikes a post*

The wurm hast been slain. Is there nothing else?

[kai]

*nods as he continues the chant of never ending rage, even as a bard kai's face is red and muscles are beginning to bulge, skin hardens and eyes flare an assortment of colors*

[Locke]

Egads, the bard has turned Berserk :amazed: Now that's not a sight that you see everyday :amazed: Congrats on that one Kai.

[kai]

*kai dashes around bashing everything in site, the ground cracks beneath the berserker's firey rage. birds fall from the sky as the hatred being emitted from kai's body boils their bodily fluids, it would seem the chant of the former bard has increased the hate and strength, of what is already terrifying in a normal berserker, tenfold*

NEED TO KILL!! http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/mad2.gif
NEED TO FEED!! http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/curse.gif
NEED TO DIAL 911 IN CASE OF EMERGENCY http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/ambulance.gif

[Blade Tanaka]

Wow this wurm head is really cool! I can make it eat people!!!

*wurm eats lance*

HAHAHAHAHA

[Yuffie]

Ewww...that's disgusting...
No one wants to see a chewed up Lance! You're spoiling it! Don't spoil it Blade! :p

*catches the falling birds and flings them into the aviary*
I'll add them to my minion list when/if they regain consciousness.

[Locke]

Egads, we have a crazed Kai on our hands. :amazed: Who woulda thought that Kai could fly into such a crazy fit of ..... rage, I guess.

*Picks up rock and throws it at lance*

For shame, letting yourself get eaten by one of my former trainee's :shame:

[Lance Alvein]

Mmhhh... Mmmmhhhh
*Translation: I've become lodged in a wurm's neck... lets see if there are any bacteria or something that I can tame...*

[kai]

*sees the wurms head shaking slowly as if something was trapped inside, a wave of fury washes over kai and he darts for the head*

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!:realmad:

[Locke]

*Hands begin moving in an arcane manner, mumbles under breath*

Life 2

*Cast's life 2 on the wurms head*

:evilgrin: This could be interesting :evilgrin:

[kai]

*the head begins to move while lance is still inside of it, kai dashes up at blinding speeds and drop kicks the wurm head. lance shoots out one of the massive eyes, kai follows burning a hole straight through the revived wurm*

DESTROY!!!!!!!! :evilgrin:

*starts running in a circle, creating a cyclone of dirt*

[Locke]

Regen, followed by Cure 3 :D

*Casts regen and Cure 3 on the wurm*

Now let's see what we can do about drawing some others into this

*Begins to cast a holy spell targeting the sky to attempt to draw in people from miles around*

[Yuffie]

I forgot. Why are we fighting this thing again?

Treasure? Glory? To rescue something? To stop the world exploding?

If it's treasure then I personally volunteer to go and collect it while you guys distract the wurm. :D

[kai]

*yells down from atop the dirt cyclone, which has already accumulated some stray birds in the area, a homeless midget, and a small town which just happened to be in its path*

KILL, SMASH, DESTROY, AND KICK DOGS OWNED BY OUR NEIGHBOURS

*

[Locke]

I think we were fighting it because back when I was a trainer I summoned it to be my minion, then ascended to the rank of knight before I had dismissed the thing. Ergo, we had a rampaging wurm on our hands.

[kai]

*stares off into the distance*

BLARG!!!!!!

*spotting his next meal, kai rips two teeth out of the wurms mouth. using long grass as shoe lace he uses the teeth as a kind of stilt and clomps off with only one image in his mind . . . . *

http://www.animationlibrary.com/Animation11/Animals/Barn_Animals/Big%20cow.gif

[Yuffie]

...so...there's no real prize...we're killing it just to stop further destruction...?

...again I ask, why are we still bothering to kill it?! :amazed:

Couldn't you have summoned a smaller, less willful minion?

[Locke]

I could have, but that wouldn't have been me. My philosophy on it was "Go big or go home". It was still early, so I didn't want to go home yet. My only other option was to go big :D

*Stares at the wurms head*

Hmmmm, didn't Blade want the head as a trophy?

[kai]

*after sucking out the inards of the demonic creature kai admires the shell of the once dancing beast*

http://www.usd.edu/~ssather/farm/color/19-35/dead-cow.jpg

MUST BURN OFF CALORIES . . . . . . HAVE AT YOU!!! :realmad:

[Yuffie]

Funny...it doesn't look like a wurm...

But I guess it must be as it's photographic evidence. :D

[kai]

(i saw a cow from my cyclone and decided to eat it. just to clearify things up)

[Locke]

Go Taz, I guess :confused: How'd you manage to get yourself a cyclone?

[kai]

(read back a bit there locke)

[Locke]

Oh, I guess that works then.....

*Cast's reflect on self, followed by wall*

Now that I've got protection from berserkers :evilgrin:

*Begins to cast holy*

Correct me will you :evilgrin:

[kai]

(you do know wall can be reflected right?)

*due to locke's mistake gets wall casted on him*

THANK YOU, ME RIP OFF ARMS AS THANKS

*tunnels under the ground, no longer able to be seen tunnels towards locke . . . . . or so it would seem (insert dramatic music)*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance climbs up a tree*
I think i feel a little bit safer here...

[Locke]

*Lacking the proper target, the holy spell chooses one at random*

HOLY

*The holy spell chooses Lance as his target, causing a large swath of destruction to erupt with Lance in the centre of it*

Mwa hahahahahaha :evillaugh: :evilgrin:

[kai]

*tunnelling under the grond kai pops up under the blinding white light (it would seem lance was the target after all, for trying to send the wurm away before it had been dealt with) wood splits as kai makes his way up the middle of the tree, at this point the holy spell locke has cast has already began to shear branches and frizzle leaves*

BLAAAAAAH!!! :realmad:

[Lance Alvein]

Ouch... pain (*_*)

[Locke]

HOLY

*Finishes casting holy, causing untold amounts of pain to Lance*

Oh, sorry lance :evilgrin:

*Begins to cast cure2*

Cure 2. There ya go bro :p

[kai]

*hundreds of feet in the air, stil riding the blast of the holy spell just cast, kai curls into a ball preparing for the massive impact crater he is about to create upon landing*

HEH HEH HEH :evilgrin:

[Locke]

*Begins casting yet another cure2 spell*

Oh great, here we go again ;). I think Kai might need this in a moment or two.

[kai]

*plummeting toward the ground, the anticipation builds and BAMN the ground is hit, sending out clouds of dust so massive they can be seen miles away, the earlth shakes and a large hole is torn into the grown*
*meanwhile kai is knocked unconscious from the blast but heals as he is hitting the ground thanks to locke's healing technique*

http://www.bsu.edu/physics/media/21480/crator.gif

(ME THINKS WE NEED NEW SITE TO FIGHT ON :evilgrin: )

[Locke]

What do you mean, a new site to fight on :confused:

I'm kinda happy here with this one

*Casts sleep on Kai*

Stay unconcious for now Kai

[kai]

*wakes up after a unusual long sleep, far longer than the fall should have caused*

*YAWN* FOOD

*heads off to the tavern*

[Locke]

Hey, now that Kai's at the Tavern..... PARTY :umbrella:

Woot, who wants some smores ;)

[kai]

*back after his meal at the tavern kai goes out in search of a strong creature to battle*

[Locke]

Hey Kai, there's nothing here right now. You ate most of it. Go clean up your mess at the Tavern

*shakes head condescendingly*

shame :shame:

[kai]

HEH HEH HEH :evilgrin:

*walks peacefully into the cover of a small forest*

[Locke]

Sooo, now that I'm alone in here......

:bday: :w00t:

*Casts reflect, followed by holy on self*

:evilgrin:hehehehehehehe:evilgrin:

[kai]

*walks out of the forest with a new pet, obese panther named Cruton. As they walk out they see locke casting reflect followed by some other spell, suddenly a blinding white lite appears beside kai as Cruton is bathed in raw power.*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! :bawl:

[Yuffie]

Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now there's a precious ickle kitty witty!!!!!
I'm gonna hug you aaaaall up and- awww...cute ickle killer panther trying to claw my eyes out!!!!! :love:
:meow:

*runs around dragging a ball of wool*

[Locke]

Kai, I'm sorry :cry:

*Cast's cure 2 on Cruton, then sadly shakes his head*

Sorry Kai, your poor kitty is no more.... Or is it

*Cast's life 2 on Cruton*

Hehehehe, there you go Kai, almost Necromancy even :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

I'm not sure whether awww is really the right word now...

So I'll go...chase a rabbit or something...BYE! O_O

[Locke]

Hmmmm, just to make things interesting

*Cast's Holy in the direction of the rabbit Yuffie was chasing*

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

Urge to pray...rising.... :confused:

Well I was born in the year of the rabbit...so...

*worships the rabbit*

[Locke]

Dear god, the rabbit was a HOLY rabbit O_O

*Begins to quake in realization of what could happen*

Oh god, I hope I didn't create another beast of aaaaaaaaaaaaaarg O_O

*Scampers away behind tree*

What's wrong with everybody, come on now, charge :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

*huggles the cutesy wootsy itsy bitsy ickle wickle snuggles wuggly bunny wabbit*

You charge at my bunny and I'll sue. ¬¬

*sticks a mitre on the rabbit's head*

[Locke]

Hmmmm, this could be quite the predicament. Yuffie, gaurd your head/neck. I've heard those beast's of aaaaaaaaaaaarg's that look like bunnies are viscous.

On a side note, I used to have a pet rabbit named Cannabis :D

[Yuffie]

Couldn't you have a pet rottweiler called Cannabis or something...?

...a rabbit?

[Locke]

Nope, I had a rottie named Tori at one point though :p And a lab mouse named "squishy cumbubble maximus hughes the 3rd ninja blaster shitbrick fuck". Yeah, the lab mouse had a very long name, may he rest in peace :(.

[Yuffie]

Why was it a lab mouse? What was it for? O.o

And with a name like that...did you like that mouse? :p

[kai]

The mouse was used in various experiments such as . . . . . the effects of certain herbs on the mind of a mouse, and at what velocity must a mouse be thrown into a wall before it's bones break and it dies, and of course my favourite (I lead the team in this one) can a mouse make a decent replacement for a hockey puck?

I've forgotten the first and second experiment's results however as for the third the results were somewhat inconclusive, as a mouse can be used as a hockeypuck however being that they are organic they tend to give off various odors and begin to wear away. :knockedout:

[Locke]

You are one sick sick man Kai. And yes Yuffie, I loved that mouse, it was great. Just had a ton of names :p

[kai]

(too much hitchhiker's guide in a short period of time i guess)

[Locke]

Nothing wrong with that. I've been reading it was well Kai :p

Soon I'll be a Chemist :D Now that's gonna be fun :evilgrin:

[kai]

Now from my understanding of things this is suppose to be a battle thread!?!? So seeing as how I'm in no mood to attack my allies I might as well do what lance did and bring in a beast we can have some fun with . . . . . . . hmmm I think I've got an idea. . . :evilgrin:

*kai lowers his hand to the ground taking up a handful of dry dirt, rubs it softly and blows it into the air*

Hope you guys are ready for this one . . .

*the wind gathers strength and dust swirls around kai and his allies, a loud growl is heard in the distance and a shadowed figures gluides toward them. as the figure gets closer it is easily identified as a chimera, with a few slight alterations*

Ok just as a bit of a heads up, this is no ordinary chimera. It is the pet of an old friend of mine and he bread it with the essence of amphibian to give it unatural regenerative abilites so we should have a fairly long but fun battle ahead of us. HAVE AT YOU!!!!!!! :popcorn:

[Locke]

Lance did. LANCE DID. Lance had nothing to do with that, the wurm was pure me. :shame: Kai, you should be ashamed of yourself. You were around to know it was me. Lance did nothing but try to ride my Wurm :shame:

Regardless, let's see how the Chimera holds up to .....

CURE 3

*cast's cure 3 on the chimera for no particular reason*

Hah. There. Let's see what you're chimera does with this :p

[Yuffie]

So...if a wurm is like a dragon...why's it not called a dragon?

On a side note, I love my demonic ickle cuddly wuddly rabbit. :D

[Tonedeaf]

ok kai you have your fun with your chimeara

i will further this action ... feeding the chimeara billions upon billion s of rabbid sea monkeys infecting your amphibious chimeara with the scourge and making it compleatly rogue

a wurm is not like a dragon beacause a dragon breathes fire...if you want to make a fire breathing wurm then you can make that comparison and we're all toast FRENCH TOAST avec la salle du bain oui oui

lets see how you fair out against your own creature

*run's away*

have at you kai!!

[kai]

:realmad: Well played, well played . . . . .

*jumps on cornelius and runs into the woods*

[Locke]

Hmmmm, this could prove to be quite interesting.


COWARDS! You all ran away :shame:

Me, I'll stick with the tried, tested, and true power of a holy spell to the face :evilgrin:

*Cast's holy*

This could make things a bit more interesting methinks :D

[kai]

*a horn blows in the distance and kai comes soaring out of the woods atop a magnificient blue wyvern*

Heh heh heh, we'll see how my tainted chimera handles the power of my coming army :evilgrin:

*the sound of branches cracking and massive trunks falling to the earth roars over all who stand within sight, from the forest emerges hundreds of velociraptors. from behind kai what looked like dark storm clouds became a swarm of wyverns*

http://yrcm.free.fr/images/wyverns.JPG

Well, I'll do my part, AAAAARG :realmad:

[Tonedeaf]

o yeah ....well well well....

*casts spell turns into gofer and burrows deep underground and hides*

ha!

[Locke]

You're a hunter TD, the most spell casting you could do would be maybe to increase accuracy or set traps ;). Though if you want to think you're a gopher and stick youself in the ground as best you can, go nuts.

*Cast's holy on the chimera*

HOLY

Wow I've cast holy alot in the last week or two. At least I'll be a chemist soon :evilgrin:

*Cast's regen on all the members of RPGN that are around to do battle*

Let's see if this helps out at all :D

[Tonedeaf]

well then i spear them all to each other and bring out the good ol' 'coon bat for the raptors that are caught in my traps ...is that better locke

[Locke]

AHAHAHA. You can't have my coon bat, get your own. :p

Not too hard, solid oak and shave it down till it's round :D

(For those who are curious, I do have a coon bat. My folks used to raise pheasants, and when you get a raccoon it's alot easier to use a coon bat then waste bullets on em. At least, if they're in the traps anyways)

Holy on the chimera, anyways

*Cast's holy once more*

My god I hope I hit chemist soon :cry:

[kai]

You do know TD that we aren't fighting eachother right? However if you want I can send my minions at you?

Right now however I am sending them at the chimera, HAVE AT YOU!!

*as locke's holy tears away the flesh of the chimera, the raptors swarm in devouring any pieces of the beast laying about the battlefield*

It can't regenerate if it has nothing to regenerate :evilgrin: . You Lot, DIVE!!

*upon kai's command the wyverns dive toward the chimera, which is already beginning to regenerate what pieces it has left*

[Locke]

Hmmm, this Chimera is a wee bit tough. Let's liven things up a little http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

LIFE 3

*cast's life 3 on the chimera, followed by cure 3*

http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evil_laugh.gif http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evil_laugh.gif

[kai]

*due to lockes life three and the chimeras regenerative properties the force between the scatter bits of its flesh increases and the raptors which ate it lift off the ground and begin to orbit around a growning ball of read light. As the light intensifies the raptors are pulled in and a blinding flash sweeps the area.*

AHH, What the hell just happened? :confused:

*as the party regains their sight they look towards the source of the light, in its place stands what used to be the chimera. after absorbing at least 43 velociraptors its size has quadrupled and unless one had witnessed the transformation, no one could tell it had once been a chimera just moments ago*

. . . . . . . . . . ummm I think we're gonna need some reinforcements. locke I give you command of my remaining creatures.

*kai gives the order to his beasts to obey locke, then flys off in search of a miracle*

[Locke]

Hmmmm, now I control tons of creatures :evilgrin:

Chimera should be the target, I think

*muses a bit*

Where's a red mage when you need one :bawl: Sleep would come in real handy right now :cry: :(

Well, Wyverns, hold you position in a threatening manner in the sky. Raptors, try and hold it off with emphasis on self preservation until a member of RPGN gets threatened, then throw yourselves at it.

*Wipes hands together*

There, that should help a little bit, methinks. Let's hope Kai finds that miracle.