The RPGN Tavern

[Lord Draud]

"DooM Toast is french toast made with milk of deamon,egg of cockertrace, suger from the killing feilds of cambodia, cinomen (regular i like it that way), and bread made fro mteh same stuff as the cake toasted over hell fire in a pan of black iron"

[jetblue]

jetblue goes out into the yard with a chinese hat on and a basket fill with saplings.
"Thats a fine spot for a pond. I reckon the fish will help with meditation",spits on the ground and grabs a hoe.
"Man is this ground full of weeds",stares at all the poison ivy,mandrake,hemlock,flytraps,and other unpleasnt plants growing rampant in the back yard.
"I think we need to slash and burn",looks for a match and a can of gasoline.

[Locke]

Thanks Draud, you get me the ingrediants I'll bake you a fresh batch.

Ok Jet, looks like we got ourselves our work cut out for us. Good thing I know lots about burning things :realmad: :evilgrin:

*Cuts out the perimeter with a pair of brush cutters*

Ok Jet, I'll cut down the perimeter, grab the rake and rake out everthing I cut down into the middle. I'll get us a 4 foot stretch, then all we'll need is to light the brush/weeds in the center and keep watch on the outer sides of it :D

[Yuffie]

Give yourself a day or two yuffie, it'll begin http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/tongue.gif
I hate you you bringer of fate and destruction!!! :bawl:

[Locke]

It didn't begin already did it :wonder:

Wow, that was really quick. But hey, that's the first time I've ever had myself given the name bringer of fate and destruction. :D

*Begins to cut away at weeds in the backyard*

Come on Jet, we got work to do :D

[jetblue]

jetblue is covered in nettels and thorns.
"Man theres so many cigarette butts,condom wrappers and broken beer bottles out here",throws 2 big bags of trash on the driveway.
"But i did find a canadian quater and a some pennies",puts them in his pocket.
"Now all we got to do is place a small half of stick of dynamite to blow a hole for the pond since the soil is so dry its like concrete",........

[kai]

*walks to the area locke and jet are planning on putting the pond*
hmmmm I think I can help you ;)
*whistles a little tune*
Ok you may want to stand back for this
*from behind a rise in the horizon a small black ball walks toward the area. on closer inspection it is easily identified as a bombomb. it walks to the area jet requested a small explosive device.*
Ok little fella, upon jet's command create a reasonable sized crator we can use as a pond.
*the bombomb waits for further instructions*

[TrueSephiroth]

Those things always look so cute till they blow up.

*Walks up from beyond the yard*

For being so powerful not haveing services really sucks.

*starts picking the leaves, pine straw and the occassional crawfish out of his hair ( NOT CRAYFISH; got IT!http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/mad2.gif)*

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud wishing tyo get in on the yard work offers to help "slash and burn" with an evil grin on his face, he then detail how a blade barrior can be used as a lawn mower and afireball can be use full to ash the evidence...i mean plants*

[Locke]

Well Draud, if you want to slash and burn there, you go right on ahead. Just make sure all you take out is the little area that I've already marked off by cutting with the brush cutters :thumbup:

Kai, nice job :thumbup: I'll let Jet be the one to give the go-ahead there. He knows exactly where he want's it to go.

Thanks for coming out TS, you're assistance is gladly accepted.

*Begins to move around humming softly to self, mentally scoping out how the Tavern's yard will end up looking.*

Hey, this is gonna end up looking pretty cool :D

[jetblue]

jetblue comes out of the tavern covered head to toe in blast proof coverings.
"I was thinking mabey instead of blasting we should use that pond over there",points to a previous pond thats filled with trash and a old car sticking out.
"We can just clean it up,replace the water and add some turtles",takes off his blast helmet.
"What do ya think guys"......

[Vidus]

*Vidus pulls the old car out of the pond*
" Hey this might work...hmmm...let's try!!"
VROOOMM!! *Vidus drives away with his new car*

[Vidus]

*Vidus has some major problems with his computer and somehow he manages to send a double post*
"Dammit!! Sorry guys. Won't happen again, I promise."

[kai]

Verywell jet, I think I can come up with some ideas for the bombomb :evilgrin:

*heads inside of the taver, bombomb following close behind*

[Locke]

Sure thing Jet, sounds like a plan for me. We'll still need to add a fountain to it, but we'll worry about that later.

*Changes quickly into hip waders and no shirt*

Ok then, now I'm ready to do some work on that, but first...

*Scampers inside for a minute, comes back outside with a beer*

Mmmm, beer. I needed that before I started work.

*Slowly begins to pick up various pieces of trash*

Hey, anywbody want a rubber boot with a foot attached O_O

[kai]

*grabs a beer and tells the bombomb to stand in a corner in the bathroom*

That should work better than a match or candle in dire situations :finger:

[Locke]

A match or candle in the bathroom :confused: Kai, you are a strange, strange man. I dunno about everyone else, but I definently am now going to use the staff bathroom instead of the public one when I gotta go :finger:

[jetblue]

jetblue ponders if there should be a sauna by the hotspring opposite to the now cleaned pond.
"It looks like the front and back garden is almost done. The bamboo and flowers are taking root along with the new grass",pats down the roll on grass with his foot.
"Im gonna have a picnic here on thursday to break it in. Its gonna be better than the state park where Lord Draud lurks about for sacrifice victims",looks around and see's a curtain close by the taverns basement window.
"We need some signs put up".........

[Locke]

Cool, count me in. Remember everybody. If you drink, no throwing the bottles. They leave with you :chair:. If you need any help Jet, look me up. I'm always up for a picnic.

So, now that everything's taking place, I think we should have a sauna set up Jet. It kinda complete's everything else, you know.

[Vidus]

*Walks from the forest looking exhausted.The car had exploded on the road 100miles from here*
"Sauna!! Great idea Jetblue. I as a Finnish guy would love to spend my time in there."
*Runs to search the best place for the sauna*
"Unbelievable!! So many good places from which to choose from.What kind of sauna were you thinking of Jet??"

[Locke]

Personally, I'd say that it should be a nice oaken one. You know, so that it works really good.

There's my 2 cents. Past that I'll help build it, can't promise much more then that.

*Shrugs*

Let me know what you guys want, I'll work on it.

[kai]

Umm fyi locke most saunas are built with cedar and oak smells like sh*t so I don't think you want a sauna made of oak.

[Locke]

Ok then, a sauna of cedar then. I don't pay much attention when I'm in a sauna, I'm too busy being relaxed :p

[kai]

Yeah kinda a reflex after working in a saw mill for two years and actually having to grade every kind of wood imaginable :wall:

[Locke]

Meh, no worries. I still vote for cedar then :D.

So Jet, what's your input on this?

*Taps foot for a minute, looks at watch*

Hmmm, I'm off for a brewsky :p

*Scampers inside to grab a beer, then shouts from inside*

Hey, come to think of it, I'm hungry. Who wants some grub? I'm cooking a chicken stew with dumplings, anybody else gonna eat any?

[kai]

Hey I have an idea for an ingredient for the stew . . .

*calls in the bombomb*

umm . . . I'd be careful how you cook it but it should taste ok . . :confused:

[Tonedeaf]

you finally found a use for that bombomb? good use...spike the stew with it....

[Locke]

NOOOOOO. Stew is heated on fire. Bob-omb and fire does not mix. No bob-omb stew. NO.

[jetblue]

"Use any wood,pressed wood is fine or even teak. The real question is what kind of towels and robes do we use. Il go get a catalog of egyptian cotton stuff",goes into the tavern,stops at the kitchen. Tastes the stew with a wooden spoon.
"Mmm,not bad",looks at the bombomb moving in the kitchen.
"Does he have a timer or voice activated or what?".....





(I think monday i was looking at the travel channel and they showed a custom built van that was elongated and at the end was a hitch with a mobile sauna and i was thinking what a great idea. These guys were inside with some sticks with leafs. But the guy that built the van was from finlandhttp://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/flag-fi.gif)

[Lord Draud]

*Lord DRaud wakes up and he is 15,000 ft in the air and falling fast and does not know how he got there....*

[Locke]

*Goes for a strut outside, the looks into the sky after hearing the sound a undead lich makes as it falls through the sky*

Hey, is that Draud up there? Man, that's one hell of a way to wake up. I wonder how he got up there? :wonder:

*Quickly concocts a chemical mixture much like flubber to enable Draud to bounce back up into the air repeatedly until he slowly stops and would be able to stand again*

There, that should do it. I only hope my mad chemical skills are enough to keep draud un-alive :wonder:
As the Sauna seems to be under control, I'm going back to my stew.

[eViL bAz]

OMG what the hell is Draud doing up there???!!!! nah good to see that Locke made that but Locke I want to see what Draud do to stand without the help of any of us, you know using his magic skills and all, or even hes summoning abilitys , but anyway..*walks inside the Tavern*
Hey Jet How bussines doing,I want a beer and I pay the beer for all that are in here cheers!!!
Oh BTW all those how drink free isd htey sign for my Undead Army so Drink as much as you want :evilgrin:

---I think that or I say it---- DUh!!!

[Locke]

Sure thing Baz

*Whip's up a quick concoction*

This will disappate it for you Baz :evilgrin:

*Spreads it out over the flubberlike substances*

There, that should do the trick. Now what is this I'm hearing about free beer :D

[Galthol]

*Galthol wakes from the daze he went into shortly after waking up*

"huh, what, FREE BEER"

[Locke]

Indeed Galthol. Free booze on Baz :p

*Grabs two bottles of beer*

Here ya go Galthol, have a bottle of the good stuff with me :D

*Passes on to Galthol*

Now, see this here *holds up a funnel*. This is a funnel. It's time to take you back to some good old Island traditions since you're on the mainland. You funnel till you drop, and no puking :p

Enjoy :evillaugh:

[jetblue]

jetblue grabs a beer and goes outside to look at Lord Draud in the sky.
"I hope he doesnt land on the newly built sauna",takes a sip.
"Wait a sec he looks like hes going up instead of down. Mabey the gods are finally calling up his dead corpse to the heavens or he's attached to a weather ballon",takes out a camcorder.

[Locke]

Draud's going upwards, really :amazed: :wonder:

*Gazes up at the sky to see this strange strange sight*

Hey, whaddya know, he is going up

*Drains the last of the beer in the bottle, take's another out of pocket and starts drinking from that one*

Now, what else we got left to do Jet?

[Vidus]

*Vidus drives a truck by the pond. It seems to be loaded with cedar*
"What!!?? You guys already build the sauna!?!? What the heck am I going to with all this cedar I brought with me?!?!"
*Vidus looks around....*sigh*...suddenly he gets an idea*
"You don't have a pier here yet. I'm going to build one, a little one, now"
*He takes his tools out of the car and starts to build the pier*

[Locke]

Cool, well, I'm going to be inside cooking breakfast foods for the next 3 1/2 hours, so anybody that wants anything for breakfast come inside and place an order by noon my time (ie, within 3 1/2 hours from now.)

*Calmly walks into the tavern*

There we go, I think I'm gonna start with some fried eggs, bacon, and grilled cheese sandwiches. Anybody want some?

*Starts up the stove, grabs an apple juice*

Excellant :D

[jetblue]

jetblue fires up the new sauna and goes in covered from head to toe in towels and over them a robe and slippers.
"Ahh,i can feel my pores and lungs opening anew",presses the com button to the tavern.
"Ahoy zombies or anyone send over to the sauna a pastrami sandwich and a glass of cherry koolaid. No ice",sits back and relaxes.

[Vidus]

"The pier is ready guys!!"
*Runs along the pier, jumps and lands on his belly*
SPLUSH!!
*walks out of the pond rubbing his stomach*
"That hurt!!! I think I'm going to take a couple of sedatives now"
*walks in to the toilet*

[Locke]

Hey, cool. Sauna :D

*Head's over to the sauna also covered in towels and a bathrobe*

Cool, I hope that a sauna won't hurt a new tattoo when I get the Cactaur one, because that'd really suck.

*Shrugs, then pushes the intercom button*

Can I get 2 bud's for the sauna please.

[Lord Draud]

*after a few bounces Lord Draud cashes into the new sauna * " why hello ladies.....EWW MEN!...."

[jetblue]

jetblue is startled by Lord Drauds crash-in entrance
"Oh god,at least put this towel around you",tosses a towel to Lord Draud.
"Now we need to fix the hole you made",listens to Lord Drauds story about being tethered to a small but powerful ladybug and just barely escapeing by removeing his own foot to release the tether.
"Uh oh. Looks like all this warmth and moisteur is rehydrating your dry flesh Draud. I can see facial features",the sauna door opens and mini locke coverd in washcloths enters with a heavy tray of 3 beers,one with a straw for him.

[Locke]

Ahhh mini-Locke, you've finally stopped playing those arcade games. Well done little buddy, you've either conquered your addiction or you've beaten all the games that were there. Kudo's either way, and thanks for the beer :D

*Looks up at the hole Draud made*

Meh, shouldn't take too long to fix. Get a couple beer in us, relax a little bit more, we're laughing. :D

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud waves his hand and put up a force sheld spell* " that will hold for a few hours till its fixed till then we have a nice sky light, ah my little creation how are you doing? they treating you ok?"

[Locke]

Hey Draud, I wonder if you'd look less like the lich lord you are if you spend some time in the sauna and hydrate yourself :wonder:

*Ponders that for a minute, then shrugs*

Meh, this sauna was a great idea. Hey Jet, how's about a Jacuzzi too? That could make this place even better :D

[TrueSephiroth]

*Starts patching the sauna roof including a frosted glass skylight*

You know if he hydrates too much he'll just rot and stink up the place.
Wet lich; that smells nasty, very nasty.

[Locke]

OH NO O_O

Dear god, Draud, I'm afraid that we'll need to enforce the "No longer then 5 minutes rule"

Alright everybody, to be fair to Draud it'll be a communal law. Make sure you follow it or you'll get banned :shame:

[jetblue]

jetblue sniffs near Lord Draud.
"Its not that bad. Smells kinda like stale cinnimon buns. Draud smells way better than some of the vomit encrusted,unwashed drunks in the tavern",takes a sip of beer.
"I already have a bunch of incense burning and boxes of baking soda all over the tavern",Looks up at TrueSephiroth fixin the roof.
"Hey thanks TrueSephiroth. The glass is a nice touch. When youre done hang up your toolbelt and grab a towel and come in for a while. We got a bet going on here",takes another sip.
"Whos running the bar while were in here?",.......

[Locke]

What bet do we have going now :confused:

I'm in, sure, but I'd like to know what I'm betting on

*scratches head*

Meh, I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually

As to who's minding the bar.... OH CRAP. We left mini-locke alone in there. Hope he's taking his job seriously :wonder:

[TrueSephiroth]

Hehe the frosted glass has arrived.

*shows the specially made glass as he installs it*

I really like this design they put onto it *points to the falling meteor from the FF7 logo engraved into the center*

I really must thank that girl in pink next time I'm by.
I think I'll pass on going in for now. I'll check in with the tavern and see wahts goin on.

*sees a little puff of smoke from inside the window*
That can't be to good but might be fun :)

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance flies out of the tavern, and hits the wall of the sauna*
Ouch.... mini-Locke is going crazy in there... he's out of control...
*Lance falls unconcious*

[Locke]

Oh Crap.

*Runs frantically to the Tavern*

Mini-Locke, what are you doing

*Looks at the burning frying pan, as mini-locke looks up and grins sheepishly*

And why did I run in here wearing only a towel :wonder:

Meh, Mini-Locke, what are you making that requires 3 foot flames O_O

Ohhhhhh, your making some very well done bacon. I understand. Cool, keep up the good work little buddy. And remember, if anybody, yourself included, starts messing up the tavern..... Give'm a learnin. And if it's you, you'll get one from me ;)

[jetblue]

Drags Lance's body into the sauna.
"The sauna ought to revive you",looks at lord Draud sipping some liguid in a crystal goblet.
"Watch him for minute. Make sure Lance doesnt prune up. Im gonna see whats goin on inside",puts on his robe and flipflops and goes to the tavern.

[Vidus]

*Decides to beat the time that last years winner had in the World sauna championships (11min 45sec). Sets the heat to maximum*
" Yeaaahh Buddyyy!! Here goes nothing..... Eeeek...damn it's hot!!"
* After 1min everything seems to be in order, if awfully red skin doesn't count.........3min: It starts to smell like someone had just put bacon on frying pan.....4min: Vidus' face turns into grimace (can't really describe it but believe me it is bad)and he starts to scream like a swine....4min 34sec: Some clatter, screaming....4min 35sec: Sauna's door opens and Vidus runs out screaming and yelling...
" It's impossible, it's impossible!!!!!"
* Runs into the pond causing a sound that a redhot medal piece causes when dropped into water*
" Aaaahhhh!!"

[jetblue]

"About time you go in the sauna Vidus",passing Vidus by the sauna door on the way to the taven.
"Keep an eye on Lord Draud whos keeping an eye on Lance",waves bye and goes in the Tavern were smoke alarms are going off.
"I thought i took out the batteries of those things",see's the flames and mini-locke trying to cook.
"Aww,the little guy's is just trying to make himself a grilled cheese sandwich",goes behind the bar for a beer.
"Sweet Gods! Have i been in the sauna that long!",looks at the date on the wall calender.
"Its the 23! The greatest festival of all year",bangs the gong 3 times then jumps on top of the bar.
"The festival of fall when harvests are being harvested,and armies are going home fearing the approach of winter,and give thanks to the gods and party all day and night",drinks the beer and throws the bottle on the ground
"Food and drink on the house till sunrise! Zombies bring forth the kegs and bull for the spit",robe opens slightly.
"Oops,sorry. Man where did i leave my clothes?"..........

[Locke]

Heh. Nice jet.

*Looks around, shrugs, then goes to cook breakfast*

Hey, who want's a scoff of eggs and bacon? Maybe with mini-locke cooking some grilled cheese to toss in too. Mini-Locke, remember, with a grilled cheese it's supposed to be on 4 on the stove, not max ;)

*Starts cooking*

Anybody else want some breakfast?

[TrueSephiroth]

*starts being sucked out the door of the tavern by the unknown force known only as Rita*

SHiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiT!!!

*and slams into the tree outfront, upside down*

[Lord Draud]

*A large BOOM comes from down stairs rattling the tavern "IT WORKS YES IT WORKS!!!!!" is soon followed*

[Vidus]

"BOOM!!"
*Vidus takes fright but decides to go and see what was it that made the sound. He walks towards the tavern when he notices TrueSephiroth under a tree.*
" Are you alright?? Oh sh**!! You really made the tree ache. Here have some pills, they will make you feel better. I mean you must feel dizzy."
* Walks into the tavern and...*
"!!!What the heck is that!!!!"

[Locke]

*Rolls eyes*

Draud's at it again I see. I'll go down and check it out

*Grabs a beer, then starts to leisurley walk down to Draud's laboratory*

Hey Draud, I gotta ask, what in the name of all that is holy (or unholy, depending on which you'd prefer) was that? O_O

[jetblue]

is waken from his drunken sleep by the explosion.
"What the hell was that?",rises from under some tavern tables covered in cigarette ashes and broken beerbottles.
"Man what a week of partying",walks towards the trap door tripping on some bar stools.
"Sounds like the boiler acting up. Il go check on it so settle down patrons. Im on this",goes down to the basement. Customers mumble about leaving before i make it worse and being too cheap to call a repairman.
"Hey Lord Draud!",looks around the basement heads to the lab.
"Oh hi Locke. Seen Lord draud? I need his help with the boiler or furnace or whatever it was that made that noise",looks in Drauds washroom.
"Uh,im gonna take a quick shower if you see him tell him to meet me in....the basement control room",closes the washroom door and turns on the shower.

[Yuffie]

*slams her student ID cash card onto the bar*
Gimme a pint of cola barkeep! With ice!

I've done that twice since starting uni. :D

[Galthol]

*Shambles up to the bar*

"I hate my Job. Give me everything behind the bar that contains Drugs. Any Drugs. Lots of Drugs"

*Galthol mopes*

[Locke]

Sure thing Jet, though I'm in pretty much the same state as you right now. :zzz: . Meh, I'll try to track him down.

*Yells at Draud to meet Jet in the boiler room*

I'm gonna run upstairs and handle those looking for beverages/galtholisms, you got this?

*Scampers upstairs again*

Alright, a pint of cola with ice for the lass and Galthol wants..... Absynth. Here ya go Galthol, I'm afraid we don't sell drugs over the counter at the Tavern. :shame:

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud walks into the boiler room with a huge grin on his face* " Gentel men i am pleased to say that my latest project has come into fruitition my i present Angst my fleash golem!" * a 9 foot tall human walks into the boiler room but he is peiced together from what looks like hundeads of bodys his face is one of pure pain and hate he moan as he enters the room* " based on my earlyer work with lock jr. i desided i need a powerfull gaurdien of my own he is immune to magic and has the strength of 50 men totaly loal to me he is my greatest creation"

[Locke]

Cool Draud, me I'm happy to have mini-Locke :D

Now then, who else needs a drink

*Looks around, shrugs, then make's self a rum and coke*

Meh, can't have nobody drinking here, that's just not right

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud sends his golem away and makes his way up stairs to the bar where he sits dow nand scans the bar for new faces almost as if he is mesuring up the people for something sinister

[Locke]

So Draud, you're out and about again are ya. What'll it be today?

*Mixes self another rum and coke, then realises it's not good for one of the bartenders to be drunk and slows down on the drinking speed*

Hey, anybody want breakfast?

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance wakes up in the sauna*
I think my skin shrunk...
*Lance leaves the sauna and enters the tavern*
Get me some water... lots of cold water...

[Locke]

*Lance wakes up in the sauna*
I think my skin shrunk...
*Lance leaves the sauna and enters the tavern*
Get me some water... lots of cold water...

Ewwwwwwwwwww :wall: . Lance, go to the staff bathroom and jump in the shower we have there and put it on cold :shame: That's gross. I don't want to know why you need cold water :shame:

[Lance Alvein]

I figure cold water might make my skin start to go back to normal... how would you like to be in a sauna for 6 days straight?

[Locke]

Touche bro, alright, go have yourself a nice cold shower or bath, whatever. Personally I'd think you'd want to drink a bunch of water too, might want to rehydrate yourself ;)

[Galthol]

*Galthol wakes up from a drunken haze*

"sorry about the eariler bit of negativity, just was feeling well....blah. All better now have left the job an am looking for work. Drinks for the house on me!"

[Locke]

Hey, free breakfast today. I'm hungry and feel like covering the tab :thumbup:

*Looks around*

Any takers :hungry:

Meh, I'm cooking myself a nice omelet :hungry:

*Enter's into a cooking frenzy*

[kai]

*walks into the tavern, cornelius close behind*

Hello, people.

*sits down to the bar and grabs a beer*

Hey locke think you could get a bowl of water for my friend here while your back there?

[jetblue]

Comes up from the basement fresh from the shower.
"Mmm,is that tater tots and scrambled eggs i smell? Let me have a plate",sits down at the bar,unfolds a napkin. Looks at Lord Draud seated next to his large freind.
"Hey buddy. Mine passing the ketchup?",waits but no response. Taps shoulder of the big guy.
"Hey! Buddy I said can you pass the ketchup?",hears a growl,looks at Draud.
"Whats wrong with your freind there? Had too much to drink or something?"looks closely at him.
"Man if i looked like you i would drink every freakin day till i passed out",slaps him on the back laughing.

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Drauds golem turn his head towards JetBlue* " you should not have done that he now thinks your attacking him" Lord Draud says in a calm voice *out of no where faster then the eye can follow the golems huge arm swings out like a coild spring hitting Jetblue so hard he flys across the room and embeds him self ass first three feet into the wall only his arms and leggs can be seen sticking out spazaming like a dying bug* " i told you he was strong but also fast as well i sorta enhanced everything about him when i made him" * Lord Draud looks at his new pet with admeration aparent on his rotting face*

[Locke]

Wow, Draud, that Golem's got some balls behind it :thumbup:

Oh, here you go Kai, sorry it's a bit late

*Gives Kai a water dish and a beer*

Jet, hang on bud, I'll get you out

*Grab's Jet's hands and helps him get out of the hole created by his rapid entry into the wall*

This healing potion should help :D

*Gives Jet the healing potion*

Now Draud, your friend should know that he can't do that inside the Tavern :shame: We all kinda gotta try to not break things inside the Tavern, you know.

[Tonedeaf]

*door swings open*

ROUND FOR EVERYONE!!!

*sitting at the bar next to the hole in the wall*

wtf? *shrugs*

barkeep fetchem firewater

*greabs pitcher of beer downing it in one drink*

that'll take the edge off...

[Locke]

Barkeep.... ok
Fetchum .... kinda getting bad.
Firewater ..... what is this, 1786?

Come now TD, all you need to do is ask me or Jet for a drink and we'll get it for you. But we don't serve firewater. If you wanted that, talk to Draud, I'm sure he could fix something up :thumbup:

*looks over at Draud, nods thoughtfully to self, then turns attention back to TD*

Yeah, talk to Draud, I'm sure he could help. Mayhaps something with some dragons blood or greek fire tossed in :wonder:

[Tonedeaf]

hey draud how 'bout fixin me up something that will get a little burn on?

[TrueSephiroth]

Wow, that certainly must have hurt!

*carefully pulls jetblue out of the wall and uses an elixer*

Well just don't touch the big lug again and I wouldn't get drunk around him either, he might mistake a drunken remark or action around him.

Draud is he all that intelligent or just reactionary and well like a golem?

[jetblue]

"Ah,thanks for the potion and elixer. Im feeling ok now. Ok to kick some golem ass!",goes behind the bar and pulls out the metal bat,brass knuckles,2x4 with rusty nails sticking out,tazer,flint lock pistol,voodoo powder in a hollowed skull,axe,gladius,and a 8 in 1 pocket folding tool.
"All right you s.o.b. You wanna boggey then lets boggey!",raises weapons and is about to lunge at the golem but in the corner of his eye he see's the calender.
"Oh damn! We forgot about the canadian thanksgiving!",drops all the weapons.
"Zombies bring forth the decorations and put the tables together",the zombies grown and obey.
"We still have time to bake some hams and stuff. Locke make the side dishes while i get some hams from the taverns smoke house",puts on a apron and cooks hat.
"Someone do the table centerpeice and get the good china and silverware from the oak cabinet",.........

[Lord Draud]

"he is very reactionary he is mindless for the most part with preset reaction for diffrent things like if he is attacked he will defend him self till the threat is gone, as for the fire waer here drink this it will ignight on contact with acid and so once you drink it you will be able to breath fire but be careefull it won't grant you any immunity to fire ether" * looks at jet blue* " your punny weapons can't hurt him i have hardend his skin to the point where it would take the weapon ofa god to peirce it and even then he is tough and it would take a bit to kill him and as more magic even I can't hurt him he is totaly immune to all spells but for a few and well you would need to look it up then would you not? its a good thing my books are all safely in a life sucking void from the the plane of the dead" * cackles like a mad mad then turns are goes back to drinking and glareing atrandom people*

[jetblue]

The table is set with many hams and turkeys and side dishes made by Locke from the fresh vegetables from the new tavern garden. Everyone is seated with Locke Cole at the head of the table. Lord Draud entertains us by making his freind dance and crush beer kegs on his head.
"What a feast this year",drinks wine from a goblet.
"Only here in the tavern can we have 2 thanksgiving feasts a year. This truely is a magical place",motions to a zombie to pour more wine in his cup....

[eViL bAz]

Wooohhhooo Im not canadian but i can take the food !!! Also tomorrow its the great fight so I have to be prepared !! Give me some Of that ham and some turkey please jet with so me whiskey

[Locke]

*Passes along the ham and turkey*

Here ya are Baz, happy (belated) Thanksgiving everybody. Hope everyone enjoy(s)(ed) the food, I know I did :lick:.

*Packs a plate so that it's heaping with food*

Ah, there we go, time to dig in :hungry:

[Galthol]

Alright food! :hungry: . Just make sure we have enough turkey for sandwichs for the next month. :hungry:

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud pick up a beed bottle and makes it grow arms and legs and makes it dance while singing irish pub songs*

[Locke]

Wow, Draud, that just made my day. I think every pub should have one :thumbup:

*Laughs heartily, then shrugs and goes back to scoffing down food*

Hey, did anybody else notice we've been feasting for 3 days?

[Lord Draud]

*lord draud makes an army of the beer men out of all the emptys* " now i can rule the world!!!"

[Galthol]

Sorry I just got off back shif, read following post.

[Galthol]

"See it seems to me if you made an army out of full beer bottles, that kept being refilled as soon as they were half-empty you would be onto some thing. Till then DRINKS ON ME"

[Locke]

*lord draud makes an army of the beer men out of all the emptys* " now i can rule the world!!!"
Until a kid come's on a bottle drive, anyways. Remember the Tavern policy, we support our local groups ;)

And Galthol, I'll drink to that :thumbup:

*Grab's an ameretto and coke*

Ahhhh, the nice smooth taste of cherry coke with alchohol in it :thumbup:

[Lord Draud]

"hmm your right" *orders all his bottle minions to arm them selfs with little sheilds and tiny spears* " but they won't take them with out a fight!"

[Locke]

Well, at least this should prove entertaining when the next batch of poor bastards goes on a bottle drive :p

Personally, I put my money on the boy scouts :p. They know what they're doing :thumbup:

*Mixes rum and coke*

Ahhh, rum and coke.

[Skikkles]

*walks in*
I... I... I .... I .... I smell alchol!
NO!!
I quit that, mmmmmmm alchol.
Temptation.
*Eugene "Do it come on just do it"*
*Igene"What would your girlfriend say?"*
*Eugene"She'd say do it dumbass!!"*

I'LL DO IT GIMME EVERYTHING I'M IRISH!!!!!!!

[Locke]

:lol: :rofl:

Well said Skikkles, plus your gf knows that I have a very curruptive influence on your mind :evillaugh:

*Pour's a drink of straight whiskey for Skikkles*

Here ya go bud, enjoy.

*Pour's self a drink of straight whiskey*

Hey, I wouldn't make you drink alone like an alchy would I :p

[Skikkles]

*chugs the drink without thought and slams it on the table*

en mores wuick efore ei wallah dis won
wuick wuick Wocke!!!

*gurgle*

[Lance Alvein]

Go Skikkles go... :pChug... Chug... Chug

[Locke]

Sure thing bud

*Pour's 10 more drink's of whiskey*

Well bud, you may be Irish but I've got some of that in me too. Let's get plastered :drunk:

*Grab's a drink, cheer's with Skikkles drink*

Well bud, we're getting trashed tonight methinks :thumbup: :cheers:

[Lance Alvein]

Mmmmm.... drinks :spin:

[Locke]

*Pour's another 6 drinks*

Sure thing Lance, let's see you get smashed :p

*Pick's up another mug*

Hehehehehe, alchoholic's are us from down east :D

[jetblue]

wakens from his sleep on the comfy chair by the fireplace.
"Wow that triptophan in turkey can really put you to sleep",yawns and streatches.
"I need a wake up drink",watches as Lance and others try to drink themselves under the table. looks like lance is loseing. Walks over to the expresso machien.
"Damn it its busted",bangs on it with a bottle minion that was passing by.
"I thought you were gonna fix the expresso maker Lord Draud",reaches for the regular coffee pot.
"Oh great ice cold",dumps the pot and takes out a coffee can from under the bar.
"Im getting hungry. Is there any leftover turkey for sandwiches?",peeks in the kitchen at Locke......

[Galthol]

*Grabs one of Druad's minions (ignoring the spears) takes the top off with his teeth and starts chugging*

"Hey Guys, You gotta try one of these things there amazing"

[Skikkles]

*grabs two minions simaltaniously*

twitchy little buggers!

*bites there heads off and chugs, washed down with a pint of whiskey*

not bad not bad where these things from exactly?
sorta creepy if you think bout them like little people.

[Lance Alvein]

Do they have eyes??? if we poke them will their heads explode and confetti come out? if not than they are not like little people ...
*Lance pokes one of the bottle minions in the eye, the top explodes and glass shatters everywhere*
Well... if glass could be considered confetti, then maybe yes :p

[Skikkles]

HEY LANCE DONT WASTE THOSE!!!!!:realmad:

*chucks an empty whiskey bottle at Lances wasteful head*

Do it again I'll have your ear lobes.... and replace them with turtles!:evilgrin:

[Locke]

Yeah, I saved ya some bud. Here's a turkey sandwich Jet :thumbup:

Lance, Galthol, Skikkles .... :shame:

Draud will not be pleased to see you drinking his minions away. Meh, maybe next time he creates a horde of minions he won't make them drinkable :rofl:

*Grab's another Whiskey*

Come on Lance, let's see ya get into this seriously. I know you must be able to handle your liquor, you went to school in montague :p

*Grab's a frozen pizza and tosses it into the oven*

Hmmm, methinks we might be needing something greasy in our stomachs ;)

[Lance Alvein]

Mmmmm... pizza....

Sounds good... I don't think I've eaten in quite a while... and now I hunger... for meat!!!

[Skikkles]

You mean these things are creatable, ....... what are the ingredients I wonder?

:hungry: Where's Draud I want more edible little people Mwahahahaha.

I will never have to feed myself again..... hut two hut two hop in my mouth.

[Locke]

Well, I would say that the ingrediants are something along the lines of the undead necromantic secrets (ie, why in the name of god would any of you drink anything that was created by the arcane abilities of an undead lich lord. [no offence Draud])

And Lance, I'm sorry to hear that you hunger for meat. The pizza I tossed in was a cheese one, so I'm afraid you'll need to get your fill of meat later.

And remember kids, your mother doesn't live in the Tavern, so you clean your own messes or we use you to clean them, you pick :evillaugh:


Anyways, back to drinking

*Pours another round for all involved in drinking eachother under the table*

Hehehehehehe, so much fun to get me brudder and his bud's drunk :thumbup:

[Lance Alvein]

Meh... cheese is good enough.

[Skikkles]

I drank them and I'll do it again.

*swings to grab another but in current state grabs Galthol instead*:evilgrin:

This is gonna be good.....:amazed:

[jetblue]

watches as Lance and Skikkles chase and drink the little bottle minions.
"Heh,i wouldnt drink what Lord Draud makes. I still remember those ribs and burgers Draud made. From a zombie cow",hold his stomach in remembered pain.
"They were delicious but you need a stomach of steel",see's the bottle minions try desperatel to defend themselves,even kamikaze style. Lance deploys a net.
"Thanks for the sandwich Locke",eats the triple decker turkey sandwich with mayo.
"Soon we have to plan for the Taverns halloween party. Im going as a toonbery",washes down the sandwich with some coffee........

[Locke]

Hey, that's a grand idea. I think I'll probly go as a Cactaur :D.

*Point's a laugh's at Skikkles mistake. then shrugs and pours a beer for Jet and self*

Kid's these days, eh :p

[Lance Alvein]

I'll go as a shirt ninja... and cast ninja magic on everybody http://rpgamers.info/images/smilies/spining.gif

*Lance leaves the bottle minions alone for a while*

No more minion drinks for me... though I may explode a few more just for fun http://rpgamers.info/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[Skikkles]

I'm going as ummmmmm.....

*drinks a pint of whiskey while thinking*

AN ORNAMENTAL LEPPERCHAUN!!!!!

*spitting half a pint on Lance*

Damn what a waste!
*punches self in face*

[Galthol]

I drank them and I'll do it again.

*swings to grab another but in current state grabs Galthol instead*:evilgrin:

This is gonna be good.....:amazed:
"Not the Throat, anything but that.... well not anything, But I swear to God you go for the throat again and I will resurect Jim. I swear I will!!"

[Vidus]

"Time to relax. Could I have something refreshing, please???.......Thanks."
*Drinks the drink*
"Halloween...hmmm...I might have something in my closet. Have to go home and take a look."

[kai]

*walks in to the tavern, taking a seat a corner table. Pulls out some small vials and a toothbrush. Unscrews one of the vial, reaching in kai pulls out what seems to be a pixie. A black aura surrounds the creature, almost dark enough to make the creature seem a shadow come off the wall.*

I swear this thing causes me more grief than good

*starts scrubbing the pixie with the toothbrush*

Meh, might as well enjoy a beer while I'm hear. Dr. Spork, get me a beer.

*the shodow like pixie waves it arms, to onlookers it would seem nothing more than a dance. On the table in front of kai another shadow begins to form as if set free from being bound to the earth. Kai looks down at the new shadow and lightly blows on it, with the light wind upon it the shadow blows away and a bottle of ice cold beer sits on the tabel*

Heh, thanks my friend, now lets get you cleaned up.

*takes a swig and begins cleaning the pixie like creature once again*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance walks over to Kai*

That's a pretty cool thing to have... did you call him Dr. Spork?

[Locke]

Hey Kai, welcome back to the Tavern again.

LANCE, stop trying to drink a table leg. For that matter, where did you get a table leg. Oh God, time for you lot to go pass out. Skikkles, Lance, Galthol, alright kid's, off to bed with you. :shame:

Sorry Jet, I'll pick it up. Thought they could handle their liquor better....

*Start's to clean things up a bit*

For that matter, I'm fairly trashed too. I think I'll just get the sweeping done and start some actual repairs in the morning ... wait, hangover will probly come after a couple days of straight drinking ... afternoon. Soon as I'm able, don't worry I'll cover the costs :thumbup:

Hey, beer left over.

*Drinks some of the beer*

Yeah, that's not bad. I just hope to god it didn't come from Draud's minions :amazed:

[Skikkles]

*walking away hears Lockes comment*

....minions? Did somebody say MINION?
*jumps back into another minion drinking craze grabing an armload*

[Locke]

Very well Skikkles, your cleaning your own mess. And at 8:00 sharp tomorrow. Have fun with that hangover :evillaugh:

[Skikkles]

Hangover pah.... I'm IRISH hehehehehe....

*thump*
*slams two empty minions on the table*

[Locke]

Well, whatever. Have fun with that tomorrow :p

*Mixes a couple drinks*

Alright you ornamental leprechaun, let's see how well you can handle keeping up with me :p

*Passes Skikkles 5 drinks*

Slam them back and we'll go with another 5 :evillaugh:

Let's see if you end up paying a visit to the porcelin goddess tonight :evilgrin:

[Skikkles]

5 pahthetic what do you take me for I chase my vodka with whiskey and rum with tequella:evillaugh: ...... can I have one more please....:emlaugh:

[Locke]

No Skikkles, your done after these. Just because you've run up enough of a tab.

[Lance Alvein]

but aren't all drinks still free right now?

[Skikkles]

Tab???:confused: I want booze how's bout we have a drinkin comp to see if I get free drinks?;)

[TrueSephiroth]

Well Since I'm not around too often I figured it would be nice if I did something good for a change.
So I'm paying the tab for everyone in the tavern!!

*room falls silent*

What I thought you would like that.

*Owner kinda shifts himself abit*
"Do you have any idea how much that would be?"

Can't be past 1.2 billion gil could it?!?http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/confused.gif

" Its below that but you would be surprised how much those damned parties and the construction cost, plus the non stop drinking of expensive beer minions."

I'll pay it anyway!

" Alright.....
that'll be 1.13 billion Gil."

http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/eyepopping.gif

Well there goes any really really good vacations for awhile.http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/bawl.gif
Why did I have to be so generous today!http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/wall.gif

[Galthol]

"Ah the tab, I had forgoten about that, Oh Well, not that the debt is gone..."

*Galthol jumps up on a table with a beer in hand and starts singing lewd songs*

[kai]

*finishes cleaning the pixie like creature, puts it in the vial and tightens the lid*

*yawn* Think I'll go get some shuteye, later folks.

[Skikkles]

*crawls out from under the bar*
It's gone really that thing is gone?
....
whew....
I actually thought I was gonna have to pay it off!:D

[Locke]

Well, I guess your off the hook Skikkles. Meh, I'm gonna go do some work on the garden.

*Tosses on a straw hat and wanders outside into the dying rays of the sun*

Now, to sit and contemplate how best to lay out the garden

*Sit's into a medetive position*

Ommmmmmmm

[Skikkles]

Well time to start my journal......

*sits at a table and from under robes pulls out a ringed booklet of paper and pencil*

Now what did I do over the past 17 years of my life?

[Locke]

Hmmm, I think I'll plant 2 or three bamboo groves

*Wanders over and plants a bunch of bamboo*

Hmm, that should grow up quite nicely. I think that's enough for now, time to head inside for a bit and keep an eye on things.

*Meanders back inside*

Hmmm, don't forget Eugene and Igene going to jail Skikkles ;)

[Skikkles]

:confused:

Ok you goosed me whats goin on.
:tophat: (Igene) Yes dear chap what is going on with the imprisonment and all!
:realmad: (Eugene)YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE... OVER IGENE'S DEAD BODY I'M GOING BACK TO THE SLAMMER MATE!!!!

[Lance Alvein]

Still got nothin in the book Skikles? you should write about the time we set Priest's arm on fire....

[Skikkles]

Ummm I will but first I have to go through birth, childhood etc. etc. ooohhh wee this is gonna take awhile.. what I got so far.. I came out of my ..... ok thats enough *rip* smoke break.... Locke got any green on you?

[Locke]

In the big green temple, yeah. Past that, I don't carry any on me anymore.

Unless your talking about ..... THIS

http://cesantabarbara.ucdavis.edu/lettuce.jpg

[jetblue]

"Ooo,il get the bacon for some BLT's",puts on a apron.
"Wow the tavern garden sure makes good veggies",.......

[kai]

*walks in with a rathe large pig*

Did somebody say bacon http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/hungry.gif, I bread this pig to produce the perfect ribs, chops, and bacon, tender and full of protein.

*taps the pig on the head and points to the kitchen, the pig waddles in slowly kicking a shelf knocking over the knives, then lays on the floor awaiting its destiny*

If you need any help I be sitting at the bar.

[Skikkles]

:realmad: (Eugene) I'll get the meat!

*walks into the kitchen and closes the door over*
SQUEAL!
*minute later walks out covered in blood holding a knife*
:tophat: (Igene) I say that was quite grotesque.

Well the meats ready I guess.... wheres my beer I swear I set it right here?:confused:

[Lance Alvein]

Mmmmm... bacon... :hungry:
now I needs to find me some other food :p

[Locke]

Alright then Skikkles, you can clean up your mess that Eugene and Igene caused, I'll get to cooking the bacon to perfection. Good PEI bacon, at that :thumbup:

*Point's Skikkles on the way back to his beer, then grab's one for self and takes a swig*

Now then, Jet you got the lettuce and tomatoes from the garden covered for the BLT's?

*Start's frying up the PEI port*

There we go, now this ... this must be where pig's go to die (sorry, couldn't resist the referance to Twin Peaks :p)

[kai]

I'll have a coffee black as midnight on a moonless night, please. :peace:

[Galthol]

Gimme a irish coffee, extra irish. if you would barkeep. :drunk:

[jetblue]

takes a bite from a blt.
"Let me get some irish coffee also",takes another bite of the blt.
"Aw man this is no good",throws sandwich to wolfy sitting near the fireplace.
"The bacon needs to be cured and smoked",goes to the kitchen and picks up the pig carcass.
"Im taking it to the smoke house in the back where Lord Draud smokes his zombies and his speacial necrowurst sausage that only he know the ingridients of",points at the awards Lord Draud got for sausage making on the shelf next to the liquor license.
"And someone get me a large jar of pickle brine for the pigs knuckles for pickled pigs knuckles and feet",grabs a cleaver.......

[Locke]

I'll have a coffee black as midnight on a moonless night, please. :peace:For the Twin Peaks referance, you can have as much coffee black as midnight on a moonless night as you want Kai :p

Now then, let's try some fresh PEI pork. Jet, this batch will be better, methinks.

*Starts to fry up some new bacon*

.... Gentlemen. DONT DRINK THAT COFFEE. Would you believe there's a fish in the percolater :amazed:

(Sorry, I couldn't resist)

[kai]

. . . . . http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/embarassedlaugh.gif Oh god, that was such a great series, and that is possibly the funniest coment in it, or at least one of them.

*takes his coffee, looks at the sheer darkness held with in it*

hmmm . .. .

*pours the coffee over his sword, the blade begins to shake, sending a cold chill throughout the room*

You know, maybe people shouldn't drink as much coffee as they do?

*downs the rest of the coffee*

Another cup please http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/biggrin.gif, and let me know if you need more pork, though I can't train one for the purpose of eating I can gut one pretty good with this blade.

[Locke]

Though I must say Kai, I don't think that'd be too good for your blade :wonder:

*Shrugs, then starts to make a breakfast buffet*

Hmmm, let's go with something different here. Breakfast buffet's are always a good thing :thumbup:

[jetblue]

stuffs himself on delicious pei bacon.
"Man that was good. And the eggs from the buffet only added to the treat",drinks some coffee.
"Speaking of treats,who's gonna go to the store and buy bags of candy for the trick or treaters this year? And prepare traps for the kids on bikes that egg the tavern and toilet paper our trees and bushes?",looks around for volunteers....

[kai]

*perks up at the word traps*

Traps be damned, I'll loom over head on my wyvern and should any child dare defile the tavern I'll split them in half.

*swings this sword down onto the bar counter, splitting his coffee cup in half but stopping it before doing any noticable damage to the tavern.*

Heh, heh, heh, I love halloween :evilgrin:

[Lord Draud]

Lord Draud explodes throught one wall ( he was out side going in) knocks over several tables and plouges up 20 feet of flood* " So your a might bit strounger then i thought ok then perhaps you will eat spell !" *fires off a lighting bolt throught the hole he punched throught the wall* " well shit..." * a rather large dragon smashed its way throught the wall bll rushing Lord DRaud who crosses the his arms to forms a magical sheild, the dragon rammes him so hards that he and the dragon are pushed thought the opposite wall, sounds of battle rage on*

[Locke]

Hmm, this should be interesting to clean up. If you need any help holler Draud.

*Shakes head*

Meh, tis the way of things I suppose

*Grab's a beer*

Alright, who's getting the candies then?

[jetblue]

The halloween kegger party is almost over.
"Woo hoo! What a party",drinks some beer dressed in a jack o lantern costume.
"Man now were stuck with all this candy since Lord Draud scared away all the trick or treaters",watches Lord Draud dance to the monster mash by the juke box.
"And how come i was the only one to dress up? What happened to all your costumes?",goes to the buffet table and grabs a taffyed apple....

[Locke]

Well Jet, I'm dressed up like a professional Hackysack player. Complete with shoes that the heel's are worn through almost completely due to excessive playing of hackysack.

*Pours another beer for self out of the Keg*

Ahhh, that just makes things smoother :thumbup:

*Looks around*

Where is everybody, that tavern seems to be emptying out :(

[kai]

*walks into the tavern, sword covered in blood*

I cleaved two kids in half last night, they came within a km of the tavern wearing ghost outfits, I figured no good could come of the undead so I split'em in half. Then the parents got upset and seeing as how I don't like to see people suffer I let my wyvern have them, he loves treats on halloween.

*struts up to the bar

Now what I could use is a cold beer.

[Tonedeaf]

*walks up to the bar*

bar keep i want a quart of your finest shine....

*chug chug chug*

i hate being a dancer and i think that i need some charcoal

[Locke]

Kai, we don't want to kill the trick or treater's, just scare off the one's who'd cause a trick instead of a treat. Meh, I suppose it's all for the best, now they'll be scared of coming near the tavern. Here's your beer.

*Slides a cold beer down the counter to Kai*

Now then, TD you want shine do you. I'd advise talking to Draud and seeing just what he has stashed away anywhere's.

[kai]

Heh, you could say I scared them to DEATH!!!!!!! http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

:shame: nevermind

*takes a drink of his beer*

[Locke]

Meh, no worries bud. So's long as the po-po's don't come calling for those kids and their parents we're all good. If they do, at least take it outside please ;)

*Grab's a beer*

Ah, so nice to be on to bigger and better things :D

[Skikkles]

*stumble into the bar*

whhooooo weeeeeeeee
*stumbles up to Locke*
gimme ummmmm anything cold and alcholic pleeeassse.....
ummmmm
yup fun stuff guys
*stands in the corner feet tapping with amazing dancing ability even though he's totally hammered*

[Galthol]

*Wakes up from drunken haze*
"Huh what oh man what a headache, Well theres only one sure cure for this, more beer, what no, not beer. Bring me scotch, and lots of it. On second thought something gives me the feeling I should stay sober for the next little while, coffee, is there coffee?"

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance stumbles in to the tavern*
Ugh.... where the hell was I... I think I need more beer...
*Lance collapses in a heap at the door of the tavern*

[Tonedeaf]

*door of the tavern swings open and TD comes frolicking in obviously drunk out of his mind and soaking wet from a swim that in his haze he thought would be a good idea*

*rolick frolick frlolick SMASH!!! he frolicks into the back wall of the tavern and falls flat on his back.*


take me drunk i'm home

[Lord Draud]

*sounds of fighting can still be heard in the distense as lich and dragon fight back and forth mile away when all of a sudden an arty ( artillery wistle) ends with Draud cratering just a few feetin front of the tavern and teh dragon following shortly doing a fly by fire breath attack, Lord Draud fly out of his crater as fast as a arrow and hover in mid air casting down bolts of ice ontothe dragon* " DIE YOU SCALY VERMIN DIE!!!"

[Locke]

Here Galthol, there is coffee. And Skikkles, here. Your Irish, have a beer.

Lance, Tonedeaf, time for you guy's to go pass out. Thank god for bed's in the back for occasions such as these.

Well, I guess thing's are back to normal. If you want any help give me a holler Draud ;)

[Galthol]

*Galthol takes the coffee and sips it*

"Well that was a bit weak now wasn't it? Give me the strongest coffee you have, Something that has been sitting for a couple of days in it's own grounds."

[Lord Draud]

*the Dragon howls in pain, whips its head around then points at Lord Draud and breaths deep, Lord Draud looks at the Dragon and goes* " ah sh!t this is gonna ruin my new robes again" * a long and white hot stream of fire engulfs Draud*

[Locke]

Alright Galthol. You asked for it. Ogrish Coffee :lick: Have fun with that one, bud :evillaugh:

Anybody else want anything? I've got lot's of coffee, and I think I'll start making some omelets :p

[kai]

I'll have a 12oz NewYork Stiploin :hungry:

[Locke]

*Disappears into the kitchen, then reappears ten minutes or so later*

Here ya are Kai, cooked to perfection ;)

Anybody else got any requests for edibles while I'm here?

[kai]

*starts eating the medium-well steak*

Not bad, not bad at all. So what are we going to do about those deer locke? I think a feast is in order . . . :hungry:

[Locke]

Sure, I'm good for deer steak.

*Take's the deer into the kitchen and cleans them*

There. Now I'm going to want some help in the cooking of this. Anybody else have any experience cooking deer?

[Lord Draud]

*falling like a shooting star Lord Draud craters outside the back door, the Dragon thinking the battle won lays back and starts regenerating it wounds but back at the crater in the cooling center a rotting first punchs threw the glassed soil* " I LIVE AGAIN!!!"

[Blade Tanaka]

I'm back... Where is my free beer?

[Locke]

When you get old enough bud, when you get old enough.

For now, have a free non-alcoholic beer that's on the house, and welcome back to the forums. :thumbup:

[jetblue]

comes in from the cold.
"Man its frigid outside",walks over the collapsed Lord Draud to the fire place.
"I can sure go for a hot cider about now",looks at the cider jugs near the bar.
"Hey isnt that the old dragon that was squatting in the basement last year?",pours some cider and rum in a carafe and heats it up.
"Mmmm,is tha steak i smell? Or burning Draud?",sniffs the air.
"I can sure go for some steak to go with this cider",....

[Locke]

Here ya go Jet, a nice juicy deer steak grilled to perfection :lick:

*Take's out a deer steak and set's the plate in front of Jet*

There ya are bud, hope you enjoy it.

[Blade Tanaka]

Umm I didn´t ask for this drink... I wanted Beer... ahh well. I just ahve a steak instead. Locke could you cook me up a medium steak?

[Locke]

Done and done Blade buddy, give me a couple minutes here.


*Head's to the kitchen, then random cooking related noises can be heard for a couple minutes, and then Locke comes stumbling out with a medium steak*


Wow, who'da thought that deer could still kick after it's dead :confused:

Meh, tis the way it goes methinks.

As for me, a nice cold beer is good for me :D

[Galthol]

"Well then Locke I'll let you rest and get myself something to eat, Is there any deer meat left? Nevermind I'll just poke around in the kitchen."

*Galthol heads into the kitchen, Clanging and smashing noises are heard, along with the occasional curse, Silence, Galthol comes back from the kitchen holding a huge steaming pot*

"I'm not to sure what I have in here but I think it should make a tasty stew. Well help yourselves, theres plenty to go around"

[Locke]

Cool, stew is good. I enjoy stew. Mmmmmm :hungry:

*Grabs a big bowl of stew, covered in dumplings*

That should prove rather good Galthol, good choice.

[Skikkles]

*dances majestically over to the pot of stew*

mmmmm smells good....... is that is that....... IRISH STEW WITH DEER AND PORK............................

Eugene:SSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW WWW!!!!!:love: :love: :love:


Igene: (Oh No everyone who values their eyes or clothes run to the basement NOW!)

*jumps in the pot of stew devouring it in a very messy fashion occasionally grabbing any alchol in apendages reach*

[Locke]

You know, sometimes I think that child needs a muzzle :wonder:

Anyways, enough musing out loud. Skikkles, clean yourself and the room when your done. Galthol, methinks the stew is gone.

[Blade Tanaka]

CUrses too slow I am...

(Goes out back and makes more stew) Is Skillkes loocked up yet? let me know when he is I have more stew.

[Galthol]

"Ahh but Blade will your stew beat my stew, I wonder. This gives me an Idea..."

*Galthol vanishs out the Tavern door. An hour later the door flys open, It's Galthol with a 25 piece brass band playing '72 trombones'. In sidles one of those old timey Town Criers.*

Towncrier: "Hear ye, Hear ye. The RPGN Travern Stew/Chili cookoff will now begin. You have one week to gather the most exotic ingredients your minds can fanthom. The winner will be procliamed "Lord of the Cooking Pot', Judges will be found at a later date."

Galthol: "Well guys, do we have a contest?"

[Blade Tanaka]

I'm in but be warned. I like to make food up on the spot. Tkae my cake toast for example.

[Locke]

I'll judge the competition as one of the judges :D

Hmm, methinks were going to need to move around the downstairs of the Tavern a wee bit. Should prove an interesting competition though. Anybody else want to judge or participate?

[Galthol]

"Ummm downstairs, home of Drauds crazy undead experiments, home of who knows what, lair of all crimes against nature, full of Drauds early attempts necromancy, a place that makes the most seasoned warriors pee thier pants... Count me in"

[Locke]

Cool, so Blade and Galthol have a stew cookoff :D Hey, if you guys want you can have an actual one at my house. And I'll even do the taste testing on it :p

[Blade Tanaka]

Sure I´m up for it. Only if I can use some of Draunds expirament´s for ingreadeants.... See you there.

[jetblue]

jetblue and locke quickly prepare a thanksgiving feast cause we were all busy and forgot. And were distracted by the kittens,puppys and bunnys found in lord drauds bedroom.
"Ah what a fine lookin table",lights the candles next to the juicy turkeys and hams and various side dishes.
"It looks like everyone is here. Who will say grace?",ignores Lord Drauds raised hand.
"Anyone?",......

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud's body decomposes ina matter of minutes and from the basement and odd buzzing sound can be heard*

[Galthol]

"Aww damn it. Noises are coming from the basement again. This is not good, I remember my last misadventure in that pit of evil. This can only be bad, The person who goes to investigate will defetnily come out worse for wear, most definalty......Any volnteers?"

[Locke]

Well, it's belated but I'll say a blessing over our food.

*Mumbles an ancient chant, remembered from day's as a white mage*

There, now the food is purified, blessed, and (if it's possible with a feast like this) will taste even better.

*Grab's a plate and fills it full of food*

Galthol, I'll go investigate after I'm done eating, I'm sure Draud will be fine reconstructing his body down there. I'll check on him in a bit after he's decent.

[Skikkles]

:realmad: Eugene:I DON'T SEE STEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE'S THE STEW!!!!!
YOU GUY'S BETTER GET ME SOME STEW OR I'LL GET SOBER!!!!!!!
I SWEAR NO MORE DRINKING UNLESS I GET SOME STEW FAST!!!!
I'LL GO SOBER AND YOU WON'T LIKE IT WHEN I'M SOBER!!!

[Galthol]

"Hey Blade, I think we should hold back on the stew this is something I would like to see"

*Galthol grabs a shield from of the wall and a stick from the fire,(holdinn on to the non-firey bit)*

"Now lets let time do it's thing"

[Skikkles]

*nimbly dances around Galthol and swallows the burning embers on the end of the stick*

Eugene: Yum!!! :lick:
Cancel that order of stew I want a 2-4 and a pot of Super Spicy Dragon Breath Chili!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh!! And release the Drauds booze minions from the basement I want some of them to come to dinner:evilgrin: !

[jetblue]

Comes in from the blizzard outside.
"Man are we in the midwest or the kingdom of Arctica? It must be -80 degrees outside.",removes fur coat,russian hat,snowshoes,gloves,boots and kashmere scarf.
"But theres one good thing about a blizzard....",starts throwing snowballs at everyonehttp://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

[Locke]

*Ducks one of Jet's snowballs, quickly rolls own and fires one at Kai*

Hehehehe, this could get ugly :p

[Galthol]

*Galthol (who was staring at the end of the eaten stick in horrid fascination) comes to his senses and dives out one of the windows, as he does he yells*

"Once more onto the breach dear friends once more!"

*Random thumpings and curses are heard over the wind*

[Locke]

Galthol .... You broke the window. :shame:

Meh

*Grab's a snowball, runs to where Galthol can be seen stumbling about outside, and pelt's him repeatedly with snowballs*

:evillaugh:

I love the winter when the snow is packy :biglaugh:

[jetblue]

Dodges snowballs and also goes to the broken window.
"Hey! At least help with some plywood or plastic sheeting",watches Galthol battle while packing a snowball tight with some sprinkles of water from a nearby cup. Waits for Galthol to lower his arm sheild and throws the snowball a great distance passing armed orcs and battle mages hitting Galthol right in the ear where he stumbles in pain curseing.
"Oh whats this?",can see Lord Draud approaching in his car passing the carnage and running over all that are in his way.
"OOO,cant pass up a chance like this",packs another snowball but with a piece of iceicle from over the window into its center. Throws it at drauds car breaking one of the headlights.
"Holy Shiznit! I gotta hide!",scampers dodgeing lockes snowballs and others to the kitchen yelling that nobody saw nothin and it was the battle mages outside.

[Locke]

HOLY SHIZNIT!

Wow, I haven't heard that on in quite a while :p

Meh

*packs another snowball*

hmmm, I wonder

*Cast's Blizzaga on the snowball*

Hmmm, this could be interesting. Wonder if the snowball will explode with the force of a giant snow-storm :wonder:

*Throw's snowball at Ephraim*

Heheheheh, methinks it's time to draw in our errant member of the PEI crew to the Tavern again :p

[Galthol]

*Brushes the snow off*

"Yeah thanks Jet. Now take a look behind you"

*Rising magesticly up behind the tavern is a copy on an 8th centurary castle, including various seige weapons, All made of snow*

"Anybody up for a snowball fight, You get 20 mins to build a fort"

*Galthol runs inside the castle and starts hurling huge snowballs with the trebuchets.*

[Ksaa]

Out of the blizzard depths a large, human shaped, green dragon appears, and after recognising the area, hears the announcement for a snowball fight. "Hmm... this might be fun," she thinks to herself, and raises her paws as a large block of ice with holes in it pops up around her. Suddenly atop the ice a fire begins to blaze, but yet does not seem to melt the ice blocks. As one of the castles' huge snowballs near, they vaporise from the heat, and she, herself, begisn to hurl snowballs from the portholes.

[Locke]

Trebuchet O_O

Meh, thank god I can still cast a flare spell on your giant castle, reducing it to a mere 4 or 5 feet of wall that's 3 feet high. Enough for hiding behind, but nothing too crazy :evillaugh:

*Cast's Flare on Castle*

Hehehehehe, enjoy that one Galthol :D

[Galthol]

*Galthols eyes widen as the flare spell closes in*
"what a minute this gives me an idea"
*Galthol casts a Protect on himself thus inclosed in a block of ice 5 feet thick.*
"Now a small focalised flare spell, just enought to get air and cast spells though"
*Galthol then casts bilzzigra*
"heh"

[kai]

*comes towards the tavern during lockes flare speel*

ummm . . . . .

*begins to leave but is frozen by gathols blizzaga* :knockedout:

[Locke]

*Galthols eyes widen as the flare spell closes in*
"what a minute this gives me an idea"
*Galthol casts a Protect on himself thus inclosed in a block of ice 5 feet thick.*
"Now a small focalised flare spell, just enought to get air and cast spells though"
*Galthol then casts bilzzigra*
"heh"Hmm, twould occur to me that I don't believe a trainer can cast blizzaga :shame: Meh, tis the way of things I suppose.


*See's Kai encased in ice*

Hmm, that just won't do...

*Conjur's up a fire elemental, whispers quickly to it and then chuckles to self as it begins to spin around Kai and his block of ice*

Hehehehehehehe, I'll get you out Kai, but your going to be soaked and it'll be rather warm for a little bit :D

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance wakes up and summons a huge snow elemental to cover Galthol again*

Lets see you get out of this one...

*Lance then tosses Skikkles out of the window, and sends the elemental after him*

And just for good measure...

*Lance finishes fixing the window*

It wasn't me...

[kai]

*freed from his icey prison, kai casts cure on himself, healing the minor burns given by lockes fire elemental*

You know I'ved walked through blizzards and ice storms the like but never have I been colder than when imprisoned within that ice

*shivers*

Hey, how about some Christmas lights? Locke feel free to toss in a few spells to add some color to the mix.

*kai rubs his hands together and mutters some words. Simultaneously casting Holy and Reflect, kai trapts the holy spell within a reflect sphere creating a giant glowing orb of white light.*

I'm afraid with my current job class I don't have much in the way of color :D

[jetblue]

jetblue is all cold and numb from countless hits by snowballs.
"Ok,i give. I cant take it anymore. Lets call a truce",removes snow from hair.
Looks around the now ice and snow filled tavern resembling an ice palace of frigia. Even Lord Draud is covered in snow balls looking like a zombie snowman lich.
"And good speed and aim whoever hit me right in the face with that yellow snowball. Even got some in my mouth",looks at Lockes and Lances direction.
"Ah Ksaa havent seen you in a while",goes and greets Ksaa,russian stylehttp://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/eyepopping.gif.
"How about some hot chocolate to warm the bones?",gets a kettle on and opens a pack of swiss miss.
"Damn pilot light keeps going out",looks for matches.

[Locke]

*Tosses Jet a lighter*

Here Bud, I always carry one of these on me at all times. And with that yellow snow bit..... I wouldn't ever do such a thing :angel:

And Ksaa, welcome back to the forums.

Hmmm, and Kai... I'll see what I can do

*Goes into a deep meditative trance, then suddenly claps hands and summons forth an ever changing stream of lights that outlines all windowsills and trim around the room in a softly glows with myriad colors*

There, that should do. I even enchanted it so's that it will glow only until after Boxing day, and then go out. Pretty sweet, eh :D

[eViL bAz]

Baz enter the show after the great snowball war and ask the bar tender for someting to drink

"Hey I am back again can someone send me a bloody mary over here!!"

"BTW Jet who is in charge of he Gate after I went on my journey? Cuz I want my old work back"

[Locke]

Well Baz, here's a Bloody Mary, with some extra bloody for you :p

*Slides the drink down the bar on the ice*

Hey, chilled glasses too :D

[eViL bAz]

^^ thanks!!! , then it looks that you are in charge of the Tavern Locke can I have my work as gate keeper back?

[Blade Tanaka]

Maybe I should get back to work at the tavern too. I'm gonna make some stirfry with chicken in it. Anyone else want some too? Plus to drink I'm making eggnog the best drink ever when it comes to christmas.

[Skikkles]

*nimbly slides through Lance's poorly repaired window kicking him in the shins

as he enters*

On the contrary good Blade!

Eggnog may be a good christmas drink, but so is whiskey and it is drunk year round!

Eugene:HERE HERE FOR WHISKEY!

Igene:Well brother I'd have to agree. HERE HERE!

Whiskey for me Locke..... as much as you can force me to drink.

[Ksaa]

"EEP!!" As jetblue crosses the anti-ice ice field and locks her into a tight hug. Huffing and puffing, and not breatheing, she decides shift back to human form. Out jetblue's then tight hug, out slips a thickly dressed in green human man. The blizzard now flows around them, and the fires are gone, as suddenly Ksaa is hit in the side of the face by a stray snowball. "Err... HEWWO to ewe too!! nice to see everyone again!! sorry i bin away... ya know life! hope to stay around!"

[Locke]

^^ thanks!!! , then it looks that you are in charge of the Tavern Locke can I have my work as gate keeper back?I dunno if I'd say I'm in charge of it our not, more along the lines of helping Jet when he's not around.. but until Jet gives his yeah or nay, yeah, giver as a temporary posting anyways :D

Skikkles, have a couple rye and sevens for now, we'll talk again after those are gone.

Ksaa.... welcome formally back into the ranks of the members of RPGN :D

[Galthol]

*Outside under a mound of snow Galthol pokes his head up*

"Hello?, Hello? is there anybody out there? Guess not. Oh well"

*Galthol heads out to the woods and the sound of an axe can be heard"

"TIMMMMMMMMB................Ouch. (various curses and explaitves)"

*A sound of someone trudgeing is heard, definally trudgeing, suddenly from out of the woods emgeriges Galthol dragging a log behind him.*

"Well I don't know what you all celebrate around this time of year, but I will wish you all a happy yuletide, Now if some one wants to help me chop this log up, we'll have outselves a merry yuletide fire now won't we. Plus if someone could take care of my cracked skull it would be greatly apperaicted."

[Locke]

Sure thing Galthol, I'll help you chop it up

*Grab's the log, grab's an axe leftover from the days of a berserker*

This should make quick work of this....


*Start's to chop up the wood, then goes into a frenzy of chopping for 2 straight hours before suddenly stopping and throwing the axe into the woods*

There, that was extremely slow going, but it's done. :zzz:

[jetblue]

warms himself near a fire in a steel barrel.
"Looks like the tavern is thawing. Now we have to decorate it for christmas",goes over to the still broken window and yells at Locke and Galthol.
"Hey while your out there chop us a decent sized christmas tree. About 10 feet tall. One with soft needles",can hear low curesing coming from them on the cold wind.
"Ah Baz,good youre guarding the front gate. Keep an eye out for yetti's. This is yetti season and there mean drunks so no matter how much money they flash dont let them in. Just hope those guys out there dont cross paths with any",could hear a frenzy of wood chopping coming from outside,then silence.
"Who wants some hot coco?",puts a kettle on the flame....

[Locke]

Sure thing Jet, I'm on it :D

*Scampers off in the woods in the direction of the thrown axe*

I planned ahead for this one. I threw the axe into the woods and it'll be stuck to a good christmas tree :p

*Find's the axe stuck to a tree, then quickly lops it down and drags it back to the Tavern*

Here ya are Jet, I've gotten you a nice 11ft tree (you can lop off a foot if it's that big a deal, but the axe spoke, so I wasn't gonna argue with an axe ;)

Oh, and I call not needing to decorate it as I cut the damnable thing down :D

[Galthol]

"Nice tree Locke, Now to get the blazing yuletide fire."

*Galthol heads over to the fireplace and starts a roaring fire*

"Now thats a yuletide fire, if I ever saw one!"

[jetblue]

Prepares the christmas goose and ham on the elegant table setting in the now thawed out tavern. Locke and jet spent all night cleaning and decorating the tavern. And like last year TrueSephiroth placed the christmas lights outside that are so bright and colourful they practically blind all who come near. Lord Draud is by the materia decorated christmas tree by the fireplace. Lord Draud has laid a trap near the chimminey hopeing to catch santa.
"There wasnt time this year to celebrate the Pagan fest on the 22nd so there combined with christmas this year so no one is left out.",pours some of Lord Drauds 180 year old wine he had hidden in the basement into some festive goblets for everyone.
"Now will one of the high mages say a few words of blessing before we all sit and eat",bows head....

[Galthol]

*Galthol clears his throat*

"You have five seconds to bless the meal before I start eating, blessed food or no"

*Galthol looks around at the various mages and wizards and such*

"To late. Time to chow down!!"

[Locke]

Ahh, I dunno if I qualify, but to keep Galthol from mowing through all the food


*Mutters a Sorcerous blessing of the food, enhancing the taste of it to godly proportions*

There, that should prove appropriate. Now everybody dig in :D

[Galthol]

*Galthol looks up with his mouth full*

"Whhaaa"

*Galthol shakes his head and finishes what he is eating*

"Sorry about that, I'am trying to put on weight you know"

[Locke]

Eat McDonalds 3 times a day. That'll put on some weight, especially if you work out on top of it (which I'm assuming you'd be doing.)

[Galthol]

"Well theres a guy I used to work with here, (I don't know if he still is working) that can get me one of those McDonalds gold cards for $10, not bad considering when you have one of those everything is half off a McDonalds"

[Astrolounge]

Their cheap because the company knows you'll croak out before you cover the cost.

*Strange rainbow tailed star streaks by trailing the words "The more you know"*
..........
..........

...Ok... What the hell was that about?

[Locke]

Hmmm, I'm not too sure. I wonder if Draud has done anything in to the Tavern to cause something like that. I know it wasn't me. http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/confused2.gif

*shrugs, grabs a beer*

Meh, happy new years eve everybody. Free booze for tonight only to welcome in the new year http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/biggrin.gif http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/drunk.gif

[Astrolounge]

Hmm... Free booze, vs. the fact I just woke up at six AM...
What's that?
Maple Ale?
Yeah that's like pancakes give it here.

[Locke]

*Slides a maple ale to Astro*

There ya go bud, enjoy :p

*Pours self a couple shots of Tequila*

Heh, this is gonna be an interesting new years :D

[jetblue]

jetblue recovers from the taverns new years week long keg-a-thon.
"Man my head still hurts. Thats the last time i mix beer and turpentine",takes some asprin with black coffee at the bar. Looks at all the party decorations still all over the tavern.
"Zombies remove the decorations and put them in the basement!",the zombies rise and do jetblue's bidding.
"I wonder what day it is?",looks at the wall calender.
"Sweet gods its lockes birthday! Theres still time to prepare a party. Zombies rise and obey!",zombies groan.
"Bring forth the party decorations from the basement that i ordered you to return there earlier",zombies groan even louder.
"Now what kind of food to make? And should liquor be served?",runs into the kitchen and bakes a 7 layer cake and trays of diffrent flavored chicken and buffalo wings.
"Oh crap its almost time. Quick everyone hide!",everyone hides under the tables and the strippers hide behind the bar.
"And when he opens the door no shooting of pistols into the ceiling",goes to the window to keep look out. Can see locke get off the bus in his hat and trenchcoat carrying a breifcase.....

[Locke]

Hey everybody, sorry I'm so late..... Hmm, where is everybody? :confused:

*Walks around the tavern, poking at the people sleeping under tables and such*

Hmmm, I wonder what this is all about....... meh, party equipment..... OOOOOHHHHH, sorry everybody, I was drunk in a ditch for the last 2 days, but I've cleaned myself up I'll be back.

[Mithrandir]

I rarely come here. But..do you happen to have Guinness beer?

Oh wait here comes a Balrog....damn...brb...

[goes out while shouting elf]

[Locke]

*Grabs a guiness from the fridge*

Well, if you like the non-carbonated beer, here ya are. If you don't want it cold, we have warm ones in the back that me or Jet can grab for you (or you can get if we're feeling lazy :p)

Enjoy bud :p

*Grabs self a Bud*

There, now your not drinking alone :p

[Galthol]

"Hey, whos the chef on duty at the moment, and where can I find some chili"

*Galthol sticks his head into the kitchen, upon not seeing anybody he takes down a large pot and starts adding chili ingrediants*

"Hmm at little of this, a little of that."

[Locke]

Giver Galthol, I'm too busy drinking right now. :p :drunk:

*Stumbles into the kitchen*

Hey, what do you know, CHILI :lick:

*Stumbles backwards into a seat with a thump*

Let me know when it's ready :D

[Blade Tanaka]

Locke you seem to have sat on me.

*Blade materialzes from underneath Locke*

Sorry to scare you but I have been here for two months now observing you all. And I have learned that we are all just a bunch of drunken idiots and we all like to party. Now Gathlo put on a giant pot of Chili and fix us up some Holy Beers+20 all on me. I also noticed that when were drunk we drop a LOT of Gil.

Gathol, hurry up with that Chili Locke jsut puked in mine.

* Blade picks up Locke and sets himself back in his chair and grabs a seat across from him and tries to savor what's left of the Chili. Everyone stares at him*

What! Two months of sitting can make a guy REALLY hungary.

*Blade eats what's left of the Chili*

(Wow I posted)

[Locke]

Hey now Blade, that wasn't puke. That was spilled liquor ;)

Anyways, who want's to be in charge of cleaning this place/ what've we got to clean here?