The RPGN Tavern

[Lance Alvein]

Lets party then :p
*Lance starts to party wildly*

[TrueSephiroth]

An Ak-47 how quaint...
No thanks I brought my Own http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif

*a large crate appears in front of him*
What should I use, hmmm.... The M4A1? nah, the usp tactical? no.
What about the Bullup? nah not good looking enough.
Ahha my favorites, The matching set: FN Five Seven and P90. Heres an upgrade for you Yuffie http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/biggrin.gif
*Gives her a beltfed machine gun, also from FN*

That ought to put some holes through matter.

Ahh my sweet firearms the next best thing to my Masamune. (the game lied I would use a gun; they just didn't have any good ones there)


Now lets all proceed outside with our guns pointed at each other with the safetys off so no one gets hurt when we shoot them at the sky.

This will be great armor piercing bullets on a nice night how fun;).
*Starts shooting at fireworks being set off toward the sky*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance continues to party wildly, then stops suddenly when the fireworks start exploding*
I wanna light one of those... :evilgrin:

[Lord Draud]

*lord Draud summons forth a MacTac .50 cal sniper rifle and assimulates it into his mecha body as a shoulder peice, taking aim he shots a bear bottle out of jet's hand ...taking three finger with it and over the tv comes a the chilling voice of the damned* "We are the borg, lower your sheilds and surrender your vessles, your biological and technological uniqeness will be assimulated into us, your culter will servus us, resistence is futile you will be assimulated"

[jetblue]

jetblue takes out a first-aid kit and sutures back his finger's.
"Hehe. Looks like some one got to patriotic firing his gun last night.",adds disenfectant to the fingers.
"All in fun. I got shot in the foot last year. Im sure I wounded someone somewhere with my bad aim",wiggles the newly attached fingers.
"There thats not bad. Just got to bandage it up for a few weeks.",adds a sling.
"I can still cook,serve drinks,fight,and make love to a woman with one hand.",someone in the tavern mumbles.
"Now what do we do for bastille day?",can see mecha Draud outside through the side window.
Opens the window and yells,"We dont have sheilds! Just get in so i can get those pieces of metal out of you. I dont know what you were doing but your gonna get tetanus if we dont get you cleaned up",.....

[Yuffie]

Ok so how do I work this thing...

Ooh hey! Trigger! Good start! So if I just- *shoots Seph in the groin*

Oops...ok, next time...aim...got it.... :emlaugh: *runs*

[TrueSephiroth]

You're MEAN!!! *folds over and gameover screen appears*http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/knockedout.gif

Ahh crap now I have to load from where I last saved!
*starts mumbling searching through the vast number of save points finding his last one*
Here we are right before I summoned the crate.
*loads it up still griping*
Ahh thats better back in action and my first action is this:
*takes gun from Yuffie * DANCE!!! http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/evilgrin.gif
*starts firing at her feet*

(just to clarify how my loading works, only I am affected everything else is unchanged in teh world)

[Yuffie]

All right I LOVE dancing! :D

So what'll it be...a tap dance? Polka? Waltz? Balle-OW! HEY!! You could've hit me with that bullet! What're you trying to do here?! :amazed:

[Lord Draud]

*lord Draud studys the building walks over to the internet/cable wine and jacks in starting to assimulate data, he also places his hand against the wall unleashing millions of nano's that start borgifying the wall

[Astrolounge]

Ahha my favorites, The matching set: FN Five Seven and P90.
You mean this?
http://www.marilith.com/comics/20050617.jpg

[TrueSephiroth]

Yes thats one of the weapons exactly. Not the one I'm currently firing at Yuffie This is what I'm firing at her: http://www.fnmfg.com/products/m249fam/m249saw.gif
Hehe :), then this is my favorite pistol:
http://world.guns.ru/handguns/fn-five7_1.jpg

The P90 and 57 take the same ammo, its only ammo is an armor piecing round since its made for military use only. The ammo is quite small really but teh guns are made to put many trough a tactical vest. The handgun takes 20 rounds while the smg takes a 50 round perdendicular clip, in other works the clip holds them at a 90 degree angel to the barrel, i'm not quite sure how the rounds get turned but I've heard that it can jam more easily; understandable, but the handgun is quite resilient.
I'm sort of like a typical redneck I like guns sort of, I enjoy knowing of them and their use and such but dislike the actual need of one.

But of coarse in character I love shooting someone especially one who has done THAT!

[Yuffie]

I'd have thought swords were more your thing but I feel kinda honoured to be shot by a gun as pretty and smart looking as that one. :)

....


So you gonna stop shooting me now I complimented your gun?

[Astrolounge]

It's a handgun with a stand! What's not to love?

[jetblue]

"Meh,you call that a gun? Now this is a gun:"


http://www.armchairgunshow.com/images/MP-WM-1.jpg

The power of one of these babys with a Iron ball will turn its target to tenderized hamburger meat",shows off the one hanging over the fireplace.
"Sure its one shot but your eye's and senses will adjust with fear. One shot one kill or your dead.",waves the long rifle aiming at the ceiling.
"And its got good range too. I shot this punks motorcycle miles awa......",in a instant jetblue pieces together who it was on the bike. In less than a senton mecha Draud's super sensative ears picks up what jetble said from outside. Mecha Draud breaks through the tavern wall and chases after jetblue with his nanobot injectors.
"AHHH!!! It was an accident!",throws tables and chairs in front of mecha Draud........

[TrueSephiroth]

(some how the picture didn't stay around and the link was severed or something, the handgun is back up and hopefully will stay so)

*while the distruction ensues around*
Well I guess I could stop firing but that would be NICE!!
And Our date is through!

[Yuffie]

Why do men always talk about guns as if they want to make love to them? :wonder:

Sorry Jet, I think your gun's too skinny. :p

[Astrolounge]

I actually know very little about guns beyond types and how to use them.
And as a minor correction, they talk about guns like they're their "gadget" so to speak. Because men try to work penis innuendo into as many things as they possibly can. As well as sex innuendo, even about the most mundane of things. For instance:
Man #1:Well, I'm going to the store to pick up some milk, if you know what I mean.
Man #2: Well I thought I knew what you ment. Now I cant be sure at all. Just make sure you wrap the milk tight in a plastic bag.
Man #1: Well of course, I wouldn't walt it to spray all over the place.

OK... This is just getting unpleasant. And I think you can see how this will continue. Believe it or not, guys can have a 15 minute conversation like this, without getting too tired to keep pumping away at it.
See, look! I can do it on a whim. Seriously, I could go for hours.

Sorry, that went too far, and now it's stuck.
Ok, thats all I promise. I'm compleately finished.
Whoops. Guess not.
I'll really stop now.

PS: Really sorry.

[Yuffie]

No wonder men take so long to go and buy milk. :wonder:

[Astrolounge]

That, and we have to visit the mistress first.

[TrueSephiroth]

Hmm Well thats an interesting conversation, I will ussually get something like that but I sometimes will not. Stuff like that may go right over my head.

This time This picture should work for good. http://world.guns.ru/handguns/fn-five7.jpg

I think of this more as a gadget but I really don't care to get one. For one thing thats illegal, civilians with armor piercing ammo thats great.

[Astrolounge]

well, it revolves around the fact you can make ANY statement dirty by adding "If you know what I mean" to the end of it.

It's invaluable if you happen to have easily amused and stupid friends nicknamed "Scarecrow".

[Lord Draud]

*the borgifing continuse there are now power generators and a few alcoves *

[jetblue]

jumps atop a coat rack.
"Now wait a second! You cant assimilate me. You can only assimilate superior technology and useful people."uses a umbrella to keep mecha Draud at bay.
"And if you assimilate me then thats admitting Im smart,useful and handsome.",watches as mecha Draud stops and lowers his arm injectors and use his logic circuits.
"Hehe,while his figuring out that one....Who wants a drink?",gets off the coatrack and behind the bar.

[Lord Draud]

" in times of emgerency less advanced tech and biomatter may be used to bolster the hives streangth" * lord Draud starts up again assimulating the nearest drunken bum*

[jetblue]

jetblue runs for his life but notices the date on the wall calendar. Goes back does a triple sumersalt landing behind mechaDraud and flips the off switch on his back shutting him off.
"OK everybody!!",bangs the gong 3 times,"Happy Bastille Day!! Drinks on the house!",starts to pour drinks and play french music on the jukebox.

[Lord Draud]

*deep in the brain of Lord Mecha Draud there is one thought bouncing around in his mind, caught forever till he starts up again "i will kill you all, nothing you can do about it, squerly wrath!squerly wrath!"*

[TrueSephiroth]

I love him, your meaning this squirly wrath right? http://www.illwillpress.com/pics/wrathlarge.gif
Foamy is funny and right. (http://www.illwillpress.com)

[Lord Draud]

PILLSY! pOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOPOP boom!

[TrueSephiroth]

http://www.illwillpress.com/pics/medhed.gif (http://www.illwillpress.com)
The medicated baby heads ate all my candies of fun good times!
Ohh candiesss!!!

That foamy is fun, I've never read his long stories from which he based the flash toons characters from. But It would be quite interesting I'm sure.

"Nuts to you" and "Tech support" are my favorites.

[Blade Tanaka]

Kay A small one form Kyari to me...



punk,

Hey mom asked me if I can smell eucaliptis here. You can tell her that I think I
saw a eucaliptis tree once. Maybe. All I can smell is asian food and cigarete
smoke.

alright Sydney is still Sydney. Im gonna write home. liook at mee, im starting
ti neglect punctuation and spoelling. 4|\|D 5P33|< in L33Tz00rz. smbdy shoot me

see ya.

There you have it.

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud Explodes in a shower of dust and metal*

[jetblue]

the explosion wakes jetblue from his hangover.
"That was the best Bastille day celebration we had in years",looks at the mess of dried flesh and steel.
"Ok,who detonated Lord Draud? I was gonna reprogram him into one of those super brains for the benefit of all mankind.",gets a broom and starts sweeping.
"I guess he can be rebuilt or cloned or even better...someone get me some chaulk so i can make an alchemists diagram!",starts to preform alchemists restore spell....




(that squirrel is so cute)

[TrueSephiroth]

Wow uhh ok....??????

Just don't tell the squirl that, they are all homicidal and tend to kill with nuts.
(No joke watch nuts to you)

[Astrolounge]

"That was the best Bastille day celebration we had in years",looks at the mess of dried flesh and steel.
"Ok,who detonated Lord Draud? I was gonna reprogram him into one of those super brains for the benefit of all mankind."
I bet he's glad he exploded then.

[Lord Draud]

*deep in the plane of negitive energy Lord Drauds undead body starts to reform thank to his soul carrier*

[Blade Tanaka]

*Then I pick up the squirl nuts and make the Squils go crazy with power*

[Lord Draud]

*lord Draud body Reform and he summon's his items of power backt o him, opening a gate way to the tavern he sep threw into his lab, as the rip in space closes several wraith slip out and dissapre into the walled befor lord Draud can controll them*

[Yuffie]

*wanders in*

Hey- WOAH!! A squirrel! How cuuuuute, with it's little nose and it's little tail and it's little nuts- ARGH!

*ducks a flying nut*

[Blade Tanaka]

"Hey that's imposible!!! I jsut took all the nuts!!! Ohh ohh"

*Blade runs form the Tavern*

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance comes out of his self-induced trance*

A squirrel...
Bad memories...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*Lance runs out of the tavern, and runs over Blade on the way out*

[Yuffie]

*catches the nuts and puts them in the little bowl on the bar*

Is anyone actually ever brave enough to eat the nuts left on the bar in these places..?

[Astrolounge]

No, they are sometimes laced with LSD.
And risin. Plus people puke on them.

They're often made of wood, and just for show.

[Yuffie]

They're often made of wood, and just for show.
Those bartenders are pretty mean knowing a sober person would have difficulty noticing they weren't real, let alone someone completely plastered. :p

Lucky I don't like peanuts. :D

[Doreagarde]

I like peanuts! *grabs and eats them* I am eating peanuts!

...if you know what I mean

[Yuffie]

Sure I know what you mean...you're eating peanuts :D

[Blade Tanaka]

I like peanuts! *grabs and eats them* I am eating peanuts!

...if you know what I mean
Gross those were the peanuts Yuffie tried to kill me with! Those were in my nose ond down my thought and in my ears! You oughta get your stomach pumped!

[Lord Draud]

....i my self like pork rinds, deep freid pig skin!

[Doreagarde]

Those were in my nose ond down my thought and in my ears!
Down your 'thought'? Does that mean that the peanuts were in your mind? Or... maybe... the come your mind! Maybe the peanuts are from all of our minds! Maybe... the peanuts are the product of our collective conscious, and if we stopped believing, the peanuts would disappear! We'd all disappear! ...this goes really deep...

[i]There is no peanut...

[TrueSephiroth]

If you Don't want to exist, me and/or Lord Draud could make that happen for you really quick.:D
*Cracks knuckles*

[Blade Tanaka]

Uhh oh wach out when you do that... I don't want you to miss and make suck the wrong thing into the that warp tunnel of yours...

[Doreagarde]

If you Don't want to exist, me and/or Lord Draud could make that happen for you really quick.:D
*Cracks knuckles*

*stands up quickly* Excuse me, sir, but I don't appreciate that comment about my mother, nay, not in the smallest part! I demand you defend yourself, as I quickly make my furious advance! *sits back down, falls asleep*

I'm so tired...

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud walks up to Doreagarde and casts invisibilty, silence and etherealness on him, makeing him unheard,unseen and untangeble e no longer exists to us

[jetblue]

jetblue returns from the corner store.
"Hey everybody. I got everyone some treats.",takes out of a brown paper bag and tosses a hostess snowball to Truesephiroth,a hershey bar with almonds to Yuffie,a jumbo bag of extra hot spicy pork rinds to Draud,a pack of jollyranchers to Blade,a bag of pistachios to Astrolounge,a neopolitan ice cream bar to Doreagarde,and a pack of slim jims mesquite to Lance.
"And now for my treat",takes out of the bag a large economy size bottle of asprin and a carton of cigarettes.
"I hope this helps my hangover",crushes some asprin into a shot of bourbon.

[Lord Draud]

*the Ice cream bar passes threw the spot that Doreagarde was sitting and falls to the floor, Lord Draud useing his magical sight laughs as he trys to pick up the ice cream only to find that his fingure pass threw it over and over again* " mmmmm good pork rinds but it will go strait to my hips, also has anyone seen poor old Doreagare? he said he wanted to just disapear and now he is gone, i guess you have to be carefull what you wish for, you just might get it"

[Vidus]

*Vidus sneaks tries to come in but the horrible library lady pulls him out. Someone may hear his last words*
" I will be back......"
*Right after that begins the battle of the century. Vidus attacks against the library lady but it seems that there is nothing he can do to beat it. The monster casts silence rapidly and Vidus thinks that this is it.... but from the shadows rises a black caped man and destroys the monster with one touch.*
"Is it you.... No it can't be...No it is you!!! Kilu my man!! Thanks a lot. I owe you one."
*Finally Vidus gets in the tavern, craps some nuts and starts the snoring. zzzz-zz-zzzzz-zz-zz*

[eViL bAz]

Guys I ask a minute of silence for our friend Tanis and his ......problem hope he come back soon, Thanks

[Blade Tanaka]

*Sits donw and fixes drinks of lucozade* Hey anyone esle want some Lucozade while I'm making it? *goes back to mixing*

[Lord Draud]

tanis has a problem?

[Yuffie]

*lucozade radar twitches*

WHERE?! :amazed:

GIVE LUCOZADE NOW!

[Lord Draud]

*casts hold perso on yuffie* " mwa he ah ha ha now she can do nothing but watch as her fluid of life drains into the guts of the unworthy!"

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance stumbles back into the tavern*
Batten down the hatches... THEY'RE BACK!!!!
*Lance falls down, unconcious and bleeding from numerous wounds*

[kai]

*walks into the tavern and sees lance on the floor*
*poke* *poke* . . . . . . *kicks Lance in the ribs*
ummmm . . . :confused:
*walks out*

[Yuffie]

Psh...haven't you read the pirate vs ninja thread? I run this joint now! :pirate: Well, practically.

But I'm not bothered, I have lucozade fed by a drip while I sleep. :)

[kai]

hmmm. . . . keep tellin your self that . . . . . WENCH!!!!!!! :nana: :evillaugh:

All I need do is call upon my cyber nija :evilgrin: . . . .
http://www.jamesryman.com/archive/gallery/frankensteins%20cyber%20ninja%20destroyer.jpg

[Yuffie]

How does that thing manage stealth? :rofl:

You be careful Kai or you'll get BARRED! :amazed:

[Lord Draud]

BAH it has a sound dampener it sends out negiitive sound waves that cancle out the sounds we hear normaly ( normal sounds look like this /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ so it sends out this \/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/ so we get this ------------------ so we heard nothing )

[Geosgaeno]

"wow ive been out cold for weeks and non of you noticed"http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/confused.gif

[Yuffie]

Ok...so we can't hear it...

But it's HUGE and CLUMPY! How're we not supposed to see it?! :amazed:

[Astrolounge]

Negative... Vision waves. Yes, that almost sounds like something.
Take THAT real science!

[Yuffie]

Negative VISION waves? Wow you're real smart Astro. O.o

Just let me get a pen, I want to make a few notes for a bank job I'm planning.

...by bank job...I mean...job interview....at a bank.

[jetblue]

*jetblue returns from the outlet mall*

"Hi everyone! Im back. And with gifts for all!",opens his many shopping bags and tosses a white Abercrombie hoodie to Truesephiroth,a pair of sapphire earrings to Yuffie,a bunch of xbox games to Lance,a NDS to Astrolounge,a pair of GAP black cargo pants with the legs that zipper off into shorts to Lord Draud,a pair of adidas boots to Geo,a box of FMA action figures to EvilBaz,a bunch of dvd's to Vidus,a bunch of manga for Blade,and a 2 way watch for Kai.
"Its still my B-day. Drinks on the house till sunrise!",bangs the gong 3 times...

[Yuffie]

Woohoo!! Virtual earrings!!! :D
Thanks Jet :D your random outburst of generosity are the sole reason I visit these forums!

Well, almost. :D

[Geosgaeno]

*Geo jumps in the mud with his new boots*

"wheres the cleaning people gone, my boots need a jolly good wash" *boots get washed by somebody*

"Thanks" *jumps in mud again* "hehehehehehe"

[Yuffie]

Glad I'm not the only person who still actually says "jolly good" :D

*throws a bucket of mud at Geo* :D

[Astrolounge]

*Spins around in circles untill passing out*

[Locke]

I feel so unloved :bawl: ;)

Happy Belated Bday though Jet.

[Yuffie]

*throws a bucket of mud at Locke* Better? :D

Oh wait...

*sticks a candle in the mud* Happy birthday. :)

[Locke]

Hooray, I got a present :D :present:

And a candle in the mud I get to play with too :p

I know what to do with mud.... :evilgrin:

*Throws a mudball at Lance*

Ahahahahaha, take that bro :p

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud looks at the pants* "but what would i wear with them? i have absolutly nothing that goes with black...also what magical propertys doth they have?, and as for you locke i give you a homninculs its a magical golem thats 1.5 feet tall and looks like you, but with bat wings and claws and fangs he is made fomr your blood and thus is linked to you, you can see from his eyes, hear from his ears but if he died you feel the pain as well"

[Locke]

Cool, thanks Draud, it's like christmas come early. I get a bucket of mud to throw at people and a homniculus that I can use to assassinate unsuspecting people. :dance: . My life is now complete.

[Lord Draud]

*lord Draud turns and walk down to his lab and begines more evil spell work*

[Locke]

I wonder what other spells could be concocted. Maybe one for levitation of vehicles that drive slowly in front of you. The practical uses that would have :bouncy: :D

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance wakes up*
What's with all this mud on my face... and what abut these cool new games?
And why is there a Mini-Locke? Do I even want to know?
*Lance ponders the questions, then decides to do the sensible thing, and casts sleep on himself again*
ZzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzz

[Locke]

Mwahahahahaha. My devious plan is working perfectly :p.

[Yuffie]

There's a mini Locke?! CUTE!

*puts him in a shoebox* Now you're mine, I shall name you Snuggles and put you in pretty dresses every day. :)

[Locke]

*Mini Locke slashes out of the box with his claws*

"I need sunlight to hit me, gotta get that vitamin K you see. :p" *Scampers away to keep away from the horrid giant that tried to make mini locke cross dress*

Hey, 600th post :D Booyeah :D

[Yuffie]

...if I poke some air holes in the box and maybe make a little window will you jump back in? :D

[Locke]

Not with the threat of being forced to wear pretty little dresses :bawl:

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud mixes to vials of a blue and red powerd and resulting explotion makes the flor jump 3 feet in the air spilling every ones drinks and such* " oopse"

[Locke]

Nooooo, my ameretto and coke. You'll pay for that one Draud, ohhhhh, you'll pay ;p (5 bucks should suffice ;) )

[kai]

*stumbles*
HELLO CHEESEYPOOF!!!!
*blacks out*

[Locke]

Hey, who wants to shave half of Kai's head while he's passed out :p

[Yuffie]

*shaves a heart into the back of Kai's head and sprays his hair pink* :D

Everyone else feel free to customise Kai, there's still more room!

[kai]

*regains consciousness*
. . . . . . . O_O
*shaves rest of head, then sprays on hair in a can*

:lufcamu: heh heh heh oh how I love modern technology.

[Locke]

*Knocks Kai out with a can of whoopass, removes the spray on hair and spray's back on a can of bright pink hair in a can :evilgrin: *

I love being diabolical in odd ways :tophat:

[kai]

*peers through the window chuckling*

heh heh heh alas they don't know that is just a bomb built to look like me . . .

5 . . . 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . . .... . . .



http://www.stevequayle.com/GG.Images/nuke.blast2.jpg

[Locke]

ping.........

[kai]

. . . . . :confused:

[Locke]

I'm invinciblllllllllle :D The explosion pinged off of my invincibility due to buddhist mind tricks, and I reflect it directly at .... Kai

[kai]

I am made of pure energy . . . . . . .
*absorbs the blast*
Seeing as how I'm here, I might as well have a drink.
*uses some spare energy to create a beer*
http://www.drunkard.com/issues/03-04/images/alien-beer.jpg

[Locke]

Hmmm, good plan *Grabs a beer that's floating by in the air*. I love it when people can be ready to kill eachother one minute, then laugh over a beer the next. Ahhhh, this is the life.

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud grabs a He-brew the jewish beer and starts drinking over his work table seeing what beer and magical compoents make, he then makes a beer golem made out of full beer bottles*

[jetblue]

"hey were did that mini locke go to?",walks to the counter but trips because shoes strings were tied together. Hears little patter of feet.
"Thats it im going to the basement to get the fishing net",goes down to basement and peeks at Lord Drauds unholy experiments.
"Hey Lord draud!! Watchya doerin?",makes him drop a flask spilling potion on his new pants.
"Behold those pants have a most potent magical sheild...scotch guard. Plus they come from the ancient land of the west...china. And in a blink of an eye they can turn to shorts. And the fabric folds over the open zipper so your legs dont get scratched.",can hear Lord Draud gasp with amazement.
"But answer me one thing. Does that little humonculi have the power to reproduce itself with spells?",......

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance wakes up again*
Ohhhh... my head. What happened here? Why is there drinks spilled all over the floor? And most importantly... can I have a drink?
*Lance manages to stumble his way to the counter*

[Locke]

No Lance, no drinks for you. You're underage :p. Here, have a coke


*Slips some rum in Lance's drink :evilgrin: *

Enjoy the coke little bro, enjoy the coke :evillaugh:

*Mini Locke scampers in and cackles, then scampers off again*

[Lance Alvein]

I'll pass on the coke... I'll just go to the vending machine and buy a nice cold... something.
By the way, has the vending machine been fixed yet?
*Lance puts money in the machine, and presses the buttons for a drink*

[Locke]

*Little Locke pops out and passes Lance a cold pop with a maniacle grin on his face :evilgrin: *

[Lance Alvein]

On second thought, I'll pass on the drink...

[Locke]

*Little locke looks depressed that Lance spurned his gift of a soda, and stalks off to cause more mischief elsewhere*

[Yuffie]

*sits in the corner reading a book while drinking from a straw attached to a keg of Lucozade*

Could you keep the drunken brawling down a bit...?

[Lord Draud]

"no you see the mini locke is a magical being linked with locke in a mystical way so in short not unless he can get preggers can IT get preggers, also i love these pants" ( on a side not any else here think it would be cool to make a webcomic about what goes on in this place?)

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance decides to see what the noise outside of the tavern is*


OOC: I agree with the webcomic idea... but who would make it?

[Blade Tanaka]

*Hears a flush in th background followed by spilling water* Ahh crap who plugged the septic system this time? Things could get ugly. I need somone to cover for me while I go clear it out. Jet hwere did youput the snake?

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance comes running back in*
There's water all over the place... it's a flood!!

[Gh0st]

*walks in the tavern and have a sit by the window*
Have you got any "pho" here? =) And can I have an Ice Tea please? ^^

[Kilu]

Welcome to the RPGN Gh0st :) Do enjoy your stay :D

[Blade Tanaka]

Ack I Need Help With The Bathroom!!! Where Is The Snake!!!

[jetblue]

jetblue finds the snake behind Lord Drauds bed.
"I have it! Here i come Blade",runs to the bathroom and gives the old rusty snake to blade."Il help you in one second".turns to he customer Gh0st.
"Hello sir(bows) welcome to the tavern. I am your bartender and servent. Your first drink is on the house.",hands gh0st a iced tea.
"If you'll excuse me a mischeivious humonculi is on the loose",runs to help blade but notices his shoe is on fire......

[Lord Draud]

hmm it seems that there was a post reset or something cause all my old posts are gone, but to recap * a pipe bursts in Lord Drauds lab* " oh god i must save the experiments!!"

[jetblue]

jetblue hears Lord Draud
"Im coming to help Lord Draud but protect the nitro first! Dont let not even a drop of water mix with it",runs down the basement stairs to help Lord Draud but is tripped by a small foot.....




(yeah i noticed your post missing too Lord draud. I blame sorcery)

[Lord Draud]

ok drama time * lord Draud is trying desprately to stop the flow of water but going un-noticed a small line of watter is making its way towards the nitro tanks* "arg i just got the lab bakc in order!'

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance runs downstairs to help out*
Dear god... we're all gonna die!!!
*Lance tries to stop the water trickle from reaching the nitro by casting a fire spell on it*

[Yuffie]

Hey I'm baaaac- OOH! You guys got fireworks for me?! I love you guys too. :D

...kinda toasty in here huh? :realmad:

[Blade Tanaka]

Ack No! *Blade cast Freeza in an atempt to keep Lance from blowing us up*

[TrueSephiroth]

Ohhh Shyte....:emlaugh:.

*casts Shield on himself*

[Yuffie]

Get your marshmallows here! Only $2 a bag! :D
(minimum of 15 bags must be purchased each).

I also sell these authentic twigs to roast them on. :)

[kai]

*walks in*

Hello all . . . . . . OH SH*T!!!!!!

http://www.nephandus.com/socialstudies/nuke-home-blast.jpg

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance wakes up*
Ooohhhh, my head...

[jetblue]

jetblue runs for his life but stops and remembers something
"HOld it! Wait one second,no one move!",runs and puts sandbags by the nitro,closes off the main valve for the tavern water supply,asks Draud to cast sheild.
"You told me Lord Draud that you only had a beaker full of nitro. What were you doing with 2 tanks of the stuff? You told me those tanks were full of mollases!",waits for Draud's excuse and he explains how there was a order mixup and...
"Silence! Just answer me this,were is the tavern security camera tapes?",Lord Draud shows him the VCR hidden behind a painting of himself dressed in imperial robes. Takes the tape upstairs and plays it in the taverns vcr/dvd player. Rewinds it 5 minutes.
"There see! I knew I saw something",customers gasp with amazement at the figure in the tape that was only there for a few seconds. It was the legendary super mage,a true celebrity,soon to be in a upcoming movie.
"Oh no! Every one is here by the TV right? That means the humonculi has gone about unapposed"......

[Lance Alvein]

Wait... so I dreamed that huge explosion?
Then why does my head hurt so much?
Wait... where's mini-Locke?
*Lance turns around*
Not this time, you little scamp!
*Lance tries to catch mini-Locke, fails, and chases him around the tavern*

[Yuffie]

*realises no-one is buying her marshmallows and squashes them all together to make a nifty if somewhat gooey chair*

....

Authentic original "memory foam" chairs! Only $200 each! :D

[Blade Tanaka]

*blade covererd in shrapnal ont the ground next to the septic tank* Sombody cast Curage.. quick*

[Lord Draud]

*with the crisis averted for now Lord Draud sneaks away to hide his other 4 tanks of nitro* " what they wehre on for half price for the six pack" * looking around Lord Draud puts then under his bed next to his zombie's gone wild tapes*

[Yuffie]

*chucks Blade onto the marshmallow chair*

Even good for recovering from explosions. :D

That'll be $10 for using the chair.

...

I'm saving up for university. :p

[Locke]

*Locke walks back in after a nice vacation spent drunk in a ditch (not really a ditch, but various places in PEI, so I suppose that's close enough :p) "Hey guy's, what'd I miss?"*

*Mini-Locke runs up and jumps on shoulder to whisper into Lockes Ear*

"Lance did what to stop a nitro explosion :realmad: " *Toss's Blade a Healing Potion, throws a smoke bomb at Lance, then runs into the smoke bomb and punche's Lance in the head*

"Lance, you fool, smarten up"


Ahhhh, it's nice to be back :D

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance falls onto the ground*
Man, my head feels like its got drums playing a beat on it...

[Locke]

Your head did have drums playing a beat on it :evilgrin:


*Sends mini-Locke out to cause more mischief and spy out the activities of the rest of the group*

[Yuffie]

*grabs mini-Locke, gives it a bear hug then lets it go again*

I just can't help it, it's so cute. ^_^

*continues to bash Lance over the head with a chicken drumstick*

Hey wake up! :D

[Lance Alvein]

I'm not asleep... but that chicken is pretty good.
*Lance gnaws off a chunk of Yuffie's chicken*

[Galthol]

*Galthol (who had fallen asleep by the fire and some how survied this entire time) wakes up*

"Hey! What did I miss?"

[Locke]

Galthol O_O Whoa, where did you come from. Welcome back :D.

*Throws a toonie at Lance*

Here, go buy some manners, you don't steal food from a lady unless she offers you some, then it's not stolen. And beating you upside the head with it isn't offering it.

[jetblue]

"YAY,Galthol has returned! Free drinks till sunup to celebrate!",bangs the gong 3 times.
"Quick catch that humonculi! He probably has the whole tavern booby trapped",walks up to Locke with the fishing net but falls through the floor. Lands on Lord Draud moving the nitro tanks.

[Lance Alvein]

Money!!!!
*Lance follows the toonie all around the tavern, setting off every trap in the place, and ends up in front of the counter*
This must be a sign! Barkeep, give me a drink.

[Yuffie]

Don't worry Locke, I found it in the bins outside. :D

[Locke]

Hey, free drinks :D I love free drinks.

I want a Texas Mickey of Bacardi please. And about 20 bottles of coca cola. I'll be good for the duration of tonight :D

*Grabs the Mickey and Coke bottles and starts mixing*

Anybody want some rum and coke?

*Grabs Mini-Locke and sets him down with a pint of tequila and lets him go to it :p*

[Lord Draud]

" i would be carefull, Mini-Locke will have a much small tollerence for the drin kthen most and since he is powered by your base spirthe will be prone to more basic insincts when drunk, he will goose ladies, rage and pick fightes with guys 5 times his size, he will swear and cry and laugh and puke, so i worn you now iam not cleaning up after him" *turns to jetblue with a scole on his face* you seem to have roped in at a most odd time, i must deside to kill you or wipe your memory of what you have seen so far"

[Locke]

So Mini-Locke is just like I am anyways. Excellant, Draud, that was definently the best present I've ever gotten in my life :D Thanks.


*Grab's mini-Locke and mentions to him "make sure that if you're taking on somebody twice you're size you got backup, like a prepared fireball :evilgrin: "*

[jetblue]

jetblue dusts off after the fall. Listens to Lord Drad
"Kill,shmill. Memory wipe,shmemry shwipe. All I saw was those zombies go wild tapes in daytona beach and some dirty laundry",helps clean up the mess.
"Il go fix that hole,but first i have to see that humonculi!",walks upstairs and corners the mini locke.
"Ok,you win",tosses a bag of quarters by its feet,"You stop trying to hurt me and you can have all the booze and food you want plus quarters for the video arcade machines. Deal?",the mini locke grabs the quarters and is occupied with galaxian.
"Now for some lumber to fix that hole",grabs a hammer....

[Yuffie]

*builds a peanut model of the Eiffel tower*

I did this during a school lunchtime a while back with some bluetac. :D
It was worth it.

[kai]

*walks in, shouts in terror at the peanut tower*
THE BIRD MAN COMETH!!!!!!!!!!! O_O
*smashes the peanut tower and runs out of the tavern*

[Yuffie]

...aw...you broke my tower...

..................

:bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

What is there to do in a tavern other than build peanut sculptures?!

[kai]

*throws voice into tavern from afar*
Unless you wish to bring upon the rath of the Chicken Man and his ethereal chicken army I'd be careful. . . .

:zchicken::zchicken::zchicken:

[Locke]

Chicken man. CHICKEN WINGS :D. Need munchies, and Kai so kindly provides. :w00t: .

*Grabs one of the chickens, grins drunkenly from the rum and cokes, shrugs, and tosses away the chicken*

I think Jet might need some help repairing the damages

*Grabs hammer and nails and goes off to help with repairs since Mini-Locke has been kept occupied by Jet's kindly donation of quarters and free booze n food*

Hey, I forgot, more rum and cokes for all who are of age :drunk:

[Lord Draud]

*lord raud look up at the hole inhis ceiling* " thats going to be annoying what with the sawing and hammering.....i know!" *casts make whole and the hole starts to close rapidly finishing in less then 6 seconds* " tehre now all they need to do is sand it and laquer it and they are done!"

[Locke]

*Grabs the sander*

Hey, look at this, it goes waaaaaaaaaaa :drunk: :p :D

*starts sanding falls off the chair, mumbles something about feeling that one tomorrow, then gets back to sanding again*

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud picks up a small vial containing a white/blue liquid and starts laughing evily, he then put a call out for adventures to come and stop him, cause thats what evil lichs do for fun*

[Locke]

White Blue liquid, meh, what's the worst that could happen ;) :p

[TrueSephiroth]

You get burned by methane from the inside out, and that ain't the worst.http://www.rpgamers.info/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Ahh zombie's gone wild, Dio of the Gold Saucer has a collection like this hidden in his hotel.
What can I say I was bored waiting for cloud to show up and the only thing to pass the time was to watch this stuff.

*starts rumaging through the tapes*
The undead campus one is the best.

One of those prizes in the battle arena is a tape from the collection. Dio is a real creepy guy always in a speedo.

*Draud nods before trying to punch him*

[Locke]

Methane, that'd suck.



*Pours drink, see's Sepheroth, wonders what he's babbling on about these cloud and dio people for, shrugs, slams back the drink*

Meh, that wasn't too bad. Time for some more

*Pours out 4 rum and cokes and sits down for a drink.*

[Blade Tanaka]

Uhh hey where is my drink? and where did all of Gathol's posts go? And where is my holy beer?

[Locke]

Beer is for when you run out of other liquids. Have a rum and coke Blade

*slides a rum and coke to blade*

There, put some hair on your chest :p

[kai]

*slides up to the bar, taking solid form, takes a beer in hand*
ahhh, nothin like a cold beer during a "hard" days work lol

[Locke]

Bah. Beer. Give me a rum and coke anyday

*Slams back a rum and coke, then pours 2 more and slides one to Kai*

Here, enjoy that after your first day on the phones at work :p

[kai]

*gives the rum and coke to pet spider monkey (not to be confused with an ordinary spider monkey but lets not get into that now), who quickly gulps it down*
Thanks locke but I'm not a huge fan of rum so I hope you don't mind that I fed it to my monkey
*grabs a fresh beer*

[jetblue]

"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum! Evast ye maties",gulps down some jamaican rum.
"I will mix some with orange lucozade. To wash down my bacon butie",fries up some bacon and a fried egg on the grill.
"Ive never been up this early for breakfast before",flips the bacon.
"Anyone else what breakfast?",cuts some chips on the fryer.

[Yuffie]

You have chips for breakfast...?

Although I did have ice cream this morning. :D

But I don't eat eggs or bacon so chips will do fine. :D

[Lance Alvein]

Mmmm. Breakfast. I'll take two of whatever... As long as the eggs are safe Jet! :p

[Locke]

I'll take some leftover bacon and eggs, yeah. Nothing like a nice scoff when you're hung over or still drunk in the morning :D

*Grabs a beer from the cooler*

Thanks Kai, I'm taking one of you're beer. I'll hit ya back later

*Drinks the beer down in one go*

Alright, enough drinking for now, I think I'd like some apple juice for breakfast along with the bacon and eggs, thanks. Yes, I know breakfast was over 2 hours ago, leave me alone :zzz:

[eViL bAz]

Hey Guys!!!, who is the person that is running this place I want a hot wings, and a bloody Mary, but very bloody....hehehehehe its been a while since i was here, from that time I left my post of Gatekeeper for take a Journey to find my true power, and now Im back, what has happen here? tell me....
What Happend with my order?!!!

[Locke]

I got it Jet

*Cooks up an order of hot wings right quick, tosses in some extra hot just for fun :evilgrin: *

Mini-Locke, go run and get a bloody mary with some extra bloody will ya

*Mini-Locke arises from the arcade induced stupor, then runs of with an evil glint in his eye*

Just hold off a moment on your bloody mary baz, Mini-Locke is right good at making those :D

[eViL bAz]

Thanks Locke I really miss this place, wehre are all the evil being of here, you know Locke, Jet, Draud, Blade and all the RPGN gang......?
*Taste the BLoody Mary.....*

MMmmm Delicious

[kai]

*floats through the wall, phases into being, dashes toward the bar, grabs a beer, drinks it*

Hello all, no time, must get back to work . . . .

*dashes at the wall, phases out, floats through the wall*

[Locke]

Oh yeah, Baz, you get to see Kai periodiacally appear, drink a beer, and then run off again. But yeah, I know what you mean. Nice if the old gang were to be here... Still, the new crew's pretty good


*Salutes all members of RPGN with the apple juice*

Well done all, I commend you

[Lance Alvein]

*Lance salutes Locke back*
Nice to see that you're back from your journey bAz... do you have any good stories for us from your travels?

[eViL bAz]

yeah I met this Half Demon-Half Elf dude that teach me some evil techniques, that will crush the strongest ppl, hehehehehe also I walk over hot boiling lava, to reach a state of mind that I can resist all the pain.....and enjoy it too hehehehehehehe, also get an upgrade for my weapons so theyre stronger hehehe :evilgrin:

[Lance Alvein]

Nice. I'm going to need to take one of those journeys sometime... meanwhile, why don't you show us some of your new techniques?

[Locke]

Wait a minute!

Take it outside to show techniques please, we just cleaned the place after you're last fiasco Lance. No more shenanigans :smash:

*Grabs a beer*

It's time to start drinkin again, methinks it's 6pm somewhere in the world. For that matter, it's 8pm here now :D

[kai]

*floats through the wall, phases into being, dashes toward the bar, grabs a beer, drinks it*

I'm sorry I seem to do this a lot but as you know locke duty calls . . . .

*dashes at the wall, phases out, floats through the wall*

[Locke]

You know, you could just sit here and enjoy a beer and forget the troubles of work Kai.

*Grabs another beer, sits back to nonchalantly sip on it while waiting for something entertaining to happen.*

Ahhhh this is the life :D

[eViL bAz]

let me see.......
*begin the concentration for use one of the new techniques, but hear what locke say and stop the concentration* Sorry Lance maybe another time... ok , since i was far away for a long time, as new returner, I must offer to those who are in the tavern, free Drink, FREE DRINKS FOR ALL!!!!

[Lance Alvein]

Free drinks... Yay!!
*Lance goes up to the fridge and gets water*

[Astrolounge]

*Curls up against a wall and start's muttering about "The Emus"*
There comeing man... And they plan to make us all dromaeognathous...
*Starts to rock back and forth laughing crazily*

[jetblue]

jetblue stops cutting chips when he hears EvilBaz's news.
"YAY,free drinks! Horray for Baz!",bangs the gong 3 times.
"Zombies bring forth the barrels of wine and lager",the zombies grown and obey.
"Uh..no more whiskey for Astrolounge. Just some coffee for him. Irish coffee",goes back to cutting chips and turns to yuffie.
"There more like hash browns than chips Yuffie. A common breakfast side dish. Or i could mix them with egg",notices the time.
"Ah its almost supper time",throws out the potatoes and takes out a fish for sushi and boils some rice.
"Yuffie,I was called a muppet by some englanders on msn. Is that meant as an insult?",carefully filets some sushi........

[Locke]

Astro - You okay man. Normally I don't see that reaction except with people on some hard drugs. You okay man?

*Goes over and wraps blanket around astro*

Take care of yourself man

*Remembers free drinks, runs off to get a beer*

Much better. Lets see who can pull off a century :D

[Astrolounge]

*Becomes instantaniously normal at the mention of bieng cut off of whisky*
I'm fine, good, great, super, awsome, [insert superlative here]...
*Everyone staring*
Really. I'm cool.
Now gimmie a beer.
*Jetblue slides all the booze away from Astro*
Ohh, going to be difficult with this are we?

PS: The last post was really for the purpose of getting the word "dromaeognathous" in a post.

[Yuffie]

Drinks are free?! ....aren't they always free here...? :emlaugh:

Forget the chips Jet, I had some pub food yesterday and it was fairly huge. :amazed:
I ordered a bowl a chips from the "Snack" menu, it was the biggest bowl I'd ever seen. It took 4 of us and we still couldn't finish them...

Muppet's pretty much another way of saying idiot I'm afraid Jet. ;)

[Locke]

*Picks up an extra beer*

Here ya are astro, you seem to be doing fine now. More beer into ya then :D

*Hands astro a beer*

Now, any repeat performances like the last one and you'll need to go on water and greasy food diet till you sober up, ok :finger:

Now then, who want's to try to century?

*Starts setting up shots of beer*
Somebody, anybody?

[eViL bAz]

(They don tknow that Yuffie, so dont tell anybody) Well I pay the Spicy Wings for all, hey Astro, I have something you may like :evilgrin: look liittle flavored Pills with grape, orange, apple and watermelon flavor :everyone come and pick one :evilgrin:

*Draws a bowl with a lot of flaovred pills all made with EB secret recipe*

[Astrolounge]

*Looks at them*
*Glances up cock-eyed*
You realize of course, that those are tic-tacs.
*Thinks for a second*
Most likely poisoned tic-tacs knowing you.

[eViL bAz]

nonononononono, this are special pills that make you stronger and happier ^^

[kai]

All that and only one and a half calories . . . . . . . . and lets not forget the slogan . . . "Put a Tic Tac in your mouth and get a bang out of life." and from what I'm hearing about you baz is that that bang would actually bang you out of life . . . . :knockedout:

[Locke]

Meh, I don't care.

*Reaches into the bowl and grabs 4 of them*

Hooray, stronger and happier is me :D

*Grabs another beer*

Booyeah, I get beer and mystery pills :D

[Blade Tanaka]

Pass me one too will ya?

[kai]

What was that you said about mystery pills on Sunday, locke?

*ignores the pills and enjoys a beer*

[Locke]

That they make you cough alot ;)

That and make you pass out in cupboards for 3 hours hiding in them.... so yeah, no mystery pills for you Kai. None for you :finger:

BEER :D

*Grabs another beer, this time 2 bottles so's to have one ready for when the first is done*

[kai]

Hey now that was a fun night, besides that was more the beer being funneled and the whole bowl thing and what not. It was simply a collection of things not the mystery pills.

Anyways. . ..

*grabs a 24 of beer, getting ready for a good night*

[Locke]

OK Kai..... you keep telling yourself that.

*Drains one beer, moves on to the next*

Hey, I'm kinda hungry, who wants pizza on me? :D

[kai]

*trys to drink a beer but the bottle breaks under the stress of kai's new berzerker strength*

DAMN! I BETTER START POSTING IF I WANT TO DRINK!!!!!! :realmad:

*bounds out of the bar leaving his animal skin on the bar floor*

http://vaso.webzdarma.cz/gallery/E/Elvish%20Berserker.JPG

MUST KILL SMALL FURRY ANIMALS AND FEED!!!!!!!!! :realmad:

[Astrolounge]

*grabs a bottle of a shelf and guzzles it before trashing the bottle*
I hope that was booze.

[Locke]

:thumbup: well done Kai, I salute the pic of a berserker :D

Hmmmm, I know

*Quickly scampers off to rig up an adamantium cup for the use of Kai*

Here Kai, just get me or Jet to pour your beer into this, then you wont crush it with you berserk rage :D

[kai]

*enters the bar after devouring several furry creatures and an old lady named ethol*

GREAT I REALLY NEEDED A BEER AFTER THAT MEAL

[eViL bAz]

hehehehehe my pills are safer than I thought, but the real results come later, yuo will begin to feel tickles in you rbody an think that you must destroy the first thing youll se s, after that an incredible force will be given to you , inmediatly, you will be so overpwer that you will be out of control and at least.........TOTAL CHAOS HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

[Yuffie]

I don't get this...TIC TACs are international and not Lucozade?! Lousy tictacs...I knew they'd betray me one day...

By the way, Kai, bit of advice, have these. :D
*hands over some moisturiser and hair conditioner*

[jetblue]

chews some of the skittles from baz's bowl.
"The drinks arent free all the time. All of you are in the taverns computer were your tabs are taken and every 2 weeks your credit cards or bank accounts are charged",grabs another handful of candy,sweet sweet candy.
"Ah screw it ill just charge your tabs to Lord Drauds macabe express platinum plus card like i always do. And gratuity",washes them down with some wine.
"We have to pull a profit for the owner",points his glass at the full length portrait over the fireplace of Locke Cole in regal uniform and sword holding a rabbit with a diamond collar with one leg on a slain dragon.
"But profits are slim this year because some of you have been bringing outside liquor",looks at the jugs of moonshine scattered on the floor and bottles wrapped in brown paper bags.
"I dont set the prices",changes the price board higher.
"Now. Whos gonna help me set up the bowling lanes?",.....

[Lance Alvein]

I will... as long as I get some of those skikkles :p

[Locke]

*Grabs a case of empty beer bottles and starts setting them up like bowling pins*

Hey, who want's to play bowling :D

*Grabs Lance and tosses him through into the set-up bottles*

Strike, yes, who else want's to play :D

[kai]

*decides to take a hand full of Tic Tacs after hearing baz's explanation of what they'll do.*

MORE POWER AND THE INTENT TO DESTROY . . . . . JUST WHAT I NEED :evilgrin:

*downs the handful of candy, washing it down with the fluid in his new adamantium goblet*

AHHHHHHHhh!

*as the candy takes into effect kai's body can no longer handle the power it contains. his skin begins to tear and a steaming red ooze begins to pour out. kai's skin bursts into flames as the ooze makes its way out of the former berserker, now a lifeform of pure hatred. as the ooze finishes it's entrance into the world it glances the statue of liberty on the television . . . . *

DESTROY!!

*the ooze moves towards the door at suprising speed, the wind following its movement, chars tavern goer's hairs. unable to open a door kai simply burns right through it and bounds into the sky. moments later members in the tavern see on the television a rather strange sight . . . . *

http://adrian.gimp.org/scripts/lava_example.jpg

(yawn . ... I think I have way to much time on my hands)

[Locke]

Hey cool, that's quite the spectacle. It's not every day you get to see a red blob of pure hatred try to eat lady liberty :p


*Drains the beer, grabs another*

Hey, if that ooze starts a fire, who want's to roast some marshmellow's and smors :D

[Lord Draud]

*Lord Draud is still in his sealed lab unaware of the past few days when he suddenly desides to go and harvest freash oose icor*

[kai]

*as the ooze wraps it self around lady liberty the statue begins to bend. Crushing those within the ooze lets go of the nations symbol.*

http://images.google.ca/url?q=http://www.virtualconceptions.com/Image9.jpg

HEH HEH HEH :evilgrin: IT LOOK LIKE BRAIN OF PRESIDENT :evillaugh:

*with the statue horribly disfigured, kai's anger's slightly quenched, the ooze begins to take the form of the former berserker. Back to normal kai sees a piece of what he just was. Wondering the evil properties of the ooze kai puts it in a hate resistent vial and takes it back to the tavern for lord draud*

ENJOY!! :hungry:

[Locke]

*Spectacle over, Locke turns around and goes back into the Tavern*

Ahhhh, I was kinda hoping to see something explode in a fireworky kinda way :cry:

Meh, more beer :D

*Grabs another beer*

Hmmmm, just occured to me that I've been drinking straight for about the last week or two.

*puts beer back on the counter, grabs an orange juice*

Hey Jet, I'm gonna fry up a good scoff of omelets, home fries, pancakes, and breakfast sausages. Who wants some?

[kai]

*bored from the quiet period at work, comes in sits down and enjoys a beer in his metal goblet, and sits the vial of ooze down on the floor next to him*

[eViL bAz]

heheheh CHAOSS; CHAOOSSSS!!!,mmmm OMELET.......nah just bring me some blood and I would be fine :evilgrin:

[Lance Alvein]

I'll have some food... as long as it isn't poisoned... :p

[jetblue]

Throws a hair net to Locke.
"Go to town. Everything is clean. The zombie dishwashers do a good job",sits on a stool and picks up a newspaper.
"Il have some waffles and biscuits & gravy plaese",reads the paper while sipping some coffee.
"And make a spanish omlete for Lord Draud. Il take it down to him later. I have to look up a word in his dictionary in the library of the condemened",continues reading......

[Locke]

Ok, Baz gets an omelet and a glass of iced blood, lance gets 2 fried eggs sunny side up served on toast, and Jet gets a stack of waffles with some biscuits covered in hot gravy. Anybody else?

*Tosses on the hair net, cooks up a storm for an hour, then serves up the food*

Oh yeah, a mushroom and swiss cheese omelet for me with some more orange juice. mmmmmm mushrooms :D

*Cooks up the food, then set's it out in a gourmet setup*

Mmm, so good. If anybody else want's something I'll cook it in a minute after I'm done eating my breakfast at 4:51pm :p.

[kai]

*smells the freshly cooked breakfast foods and vomits*

WHY YOU COOK? FRESH MEAT BETTER

*pulls out a live penguin and begins eating the soon to be dead creature*

[Locke]

Bad Kai, bad. At least take it out back to the slaughteryard, or down to one of Drauds chambers to see if he want's to study the effects of a berserker ripping apart a live penguin.

*shrugs, goes back to eating*

Meh, I did my part.

[kai]

*looks up from his meal, spits some blood on the floor, goes back to eating*

[Locke]

Meh, whatever Kai, you'll be cleaning that up soon as you hit trainer, and I'll bet you'll be crying over the slaughter of the penguin you were saving to train too :finger:

*Shakes head sadly :shame:*

Well, I'm going to need to say that this would be one of the saddest days that I've seen in a while.... :shame:

Meh, who want's some more breakfast?

*Cooks self an omelet again*

Hah, now you'll need to wait till after this.

[kai]

*stumbles in after the fall just taken from battle*

BEER!!! :drunk:

[Locke]

Meh, Kai's back everybody

*Goes back to eating the omelet slowly while reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy*

Ah, this is the life :)

[kai]

*finishes his beer, now craving various animal flesh, pulls out a live seal*

HEH HEH HEH :evillaugh:

*tears a chunk out of the squirming creature, blood pouring onto the floor*

[jetblue]

jetblue enjoys the waffles.
"Ah thanks Locke. Your a good cook",watches as Kai kills the seal and eat its still warm flesh.
"HEY!! What the hell",moves to avoid the splattering blood.
"Stop right now!",reaches for a object behind the counter.
"I said no outside food or drink! Now put the seal down and order a tavern seal tartar for 10 gill or take it outside",mumbles about how low the earnings were this month.

[kai]

*looks up at jet, slightly enraged by the orders given however pacified by his now full stomack*
FINISHED
*throws the dead seal carcass out the door and grabs a beer, as payment for the mess and beer, puts the vial of ooze on the counter assuming materialised hate must be worth something to someone*

[Locke]

Thanks Jet. If you need any help containing the ruffian I'm ready with some healing spells.... Sorry man, it's the best I can do while in this class (I really don't want to cast holy in the middle of the Tavern)

*Finishes omelet, then goes about cleaning up various odds and ends that are floating about*

Kai, you can clean up your own mess from blood, that's really really hard to get out.

*Sweeps up around the blood*

There you go Jet, good as new.

[Lord Draud]

*JUST then Lord Draud walk up the stair* " i Demand that some one bring me hate in a liquid form so that i might release a demon of untold power! i will be willing to pay 6500 gill to the one that brings it to me, also it has come to my attention that someone is killing live animals up here and eating tehre fleash raw....keep up the good work"

[Locke]

*YOINK. Picks up the vial that Kai left on the floor*

Here ya go Draud, don't worry about the cash. All in good fun :thumbup:

Now then, who want's breakfast again?

*Looks around questioningly, pad ready in hand to take orders*

Nobody yet? Meh, let me know when you're ready. I'll be sitting here reading.

[kai]

I'LL HAVE A SALISBURY STEAK, AND BY SALIBURY, I MEAN LIVE, AND BY STEAK . . . . I MEAN COW!! :hungry:

*licks lips in anticipation*

[Locke]

It's out back. If you're going to act like an animal, you can eat out back with the rest of them :shame:

So, who else wants some real food?

*Picks up some french toast, munches out on that*

I made french toast :D

[kai]

*kai left the bar ready to slaughter some raw meat, on his way he stopped at the temple, a few hours later heads back to the tavern*

Nice to finally be able to think again, hey locke as long as your offering I'll take some french toast

*goes into the back and grabs the syrup, come back out with a barrel*

Hope you made lots. . . :hungry:

[Locke]

Yeah, I did. Nice to have you in the land of the sane again my friend

*Gets up and begins to cook a huge scoff*

Hey Kai, while this is cooking clean your mess up. IE, you know, the blood all over the floor. We're not downstairs in Draud's laboratories, so get it clean.

Food'll be ready once you've gotten the place clean :finger:

[kai]

Sure thing . . .

*whistles, in runs a rather large sheep dog. takes some dish soap and a glass of water and pours it over the shaggy beast*

Get to work cornelius.

*the dog begins to roll about, absorbing blood and cleaning the floor while it's at it*

Don't worry I'll give him some toast when he's done.

[Locke]

Hey, whatever works man, long as the floor is clean :D

*Cooks Kai some french toast*

Here you go sir, fill your boots. Hey Jet, when you coming back to take management here?

[kai]

*continues to eat his pancakes, cornelius finally finishes the floor his fur dark red from the animal blood*

Good work sir, here's your reward *gives cornelius a stack of pancakes*

I think I'll have to get you cleaned up later on today, but the first thing we do after eating is . . . . go find somethig to kill.

[Locke]

:shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame: :shame:


Yes Kai, these are for you and you're oh so sad and tragic ways. All that shame, how could you bear it? :shame: <-that one was just for spite :p

[kai]

Shame from what? I use my jobs to the best of my ability. When I go knight and can no longer control my beasts I shall strike them down with my sword . . . . . . though I think the temple may be hard won what with the penguins. Hope draud whips something up from that ooze.

[jetblue]

jetblue wakes up from the storage room.
"Mmm,I smell french toast. Let me get some locke please",sits on a stool. Puts some salt on the slug in the jar labled ooze.
"And why do i smell wet sheep dog?",looks around.
"I think someone needs a bath",lights a cigarette.

[Lord Draud]

bah french toast, i want TOAST OF DOOM!!!

[jetblue]

as Lord Draud is talking to Locke about how to make french toast of doom jetblue sneaks into the kitchen and brings out a covered cart.
"Lord Draud. When i was looking in your library the other day i saw the names and dates scribbled in your undead necrobible",uncovers a black cherry cake from the cart.
"Happy birth/death day! 21,000 years old!",lights many candles.
"Let us party! Drinks and food on the house for a week in celebration!",bangs the gong.
"Im surprised youre here. I thouht you would be out causing plauges and destruction across the world celebrateing on a black steed with minions",lights a cigarette with one of the candles.

[Lord Draud]

"oh gosh you shouldn't have, and no i would be out partying like its its the year 1666 but i out grew that sort of overt evil, i just keep local.....so don't drink the water for a few days its leathal, now i have to ask were did you get black cherrys this time of the century you know there out of season till the mid point you must have spend a ransom on them, oh my is it backed with real medusa eggs? and flour fro mthe wheet grom from the decaying bodys of a pope and saints, and chocolate and butter from cows possesed by demonds? you guys i love you!"

[Yuffie]

*bursts through the door weilding a suitcase*

I'm baaaaack! :D
And sunburnt... :knockedout:

[Lord Draud]

*slaps Yuffie on the bakc* " How was your trip?"

[Locke]

Hey, Yuffies back :D Welcome back

*Grabs a beer, drains it back, goes to grab two more, then remembers Yuffie doesn't like alcohol*

Hey Yuffie, want a Lucozade?

*Grabs Lucozade without waiting for a responce and passes it off*

Now then, Draud, what's this I hear about a doom toast? :evilgrin:

[Yuffie]

YAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!
Draud I am going to KILL you!!!!!!!!!!!

OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
OW
!!!!
!!!!
!!!!
!!!!
!!!!

I look like a skinny, clothed cherry. :(

But cheers for the drink, Locke.

[Locke]

:drunk: Cheers :p

Hey, anybody want to step outside and plant a garden. It occured to me that would make this place look even spiffier then it already does :D

*Looks around, shrugs, grabs a beer*

Meh, I'll do it myself then. If anybody else feels the urge to help I'll be outside making a box to put the earth in for the garden

*Mumbles to self, then heads out the door*

[jetblue]

"Make sure you plant a lots of bamboo and crysanthimums. And dont forget the koi pond and fountain",tosses Locke a straw hat.
"Il come out later and help build the birdhouses and feeders. Plus we need a bee hive if we want those tomatoes and eggplants to grow just right",starts to order tomatoe and other seeds online.

[Locke]

Hooray :D I got a straw hat :D

*Begins to till the ground with a rake in preparation of the garden*

So where is it that we're going to be putting this Koi pond and fountain? I need to know so I know where I've gotta dig and where I've gotta arrange some rocks.

[Yuffie]

I'M NOT PEELING!!! This is great! This sort of thing just doesn't happen to me! WOOH!!! :D

[Locke]

Give yourself a day or two yuffie, it'll begin :p

Now seriously, where do you want the foi pond Jet?

*scratches head in confusion*

If you ask me, right over there would work

*Points a nice, quite spot over beside the tavern in the side yard*

Could look nice if we added in some fish as well... :wonder: